Am I just being unrealistic?

Hi again, Vikki - I see this is the post you referred to in our earlier conversation about Dan. (for ease of reference, here is a link to that conversation: https://copd.net/forums/traveling#reply-104059). I was able to provide a response there a few minutes ago - I do hope you had an opportunity to see it).

The candor with which you expressed yourself here has touched me - my heart goes out to you! I didn't realize that the two of you had such plans and dreams!
From my professional experience, I subscribe to the 'always keep trying' mentality. Where there is life, there is hope!
I would encourage you to keep trying with Dan. In our earlier conversation, you spoke about antidepressants being prescribed for him. With the right team of physicians and medications, perhaps Dan can get himself back on track - especially with you in his corner!
With the upcoming pulmonary physician appointment, combined with the new medication and even the (suggested) counseling (for both of you), you can work towards an improvement.
If there is anything we can do to assist you, please let me or any other moderator / team member know.
We have many knowledgeable and experienced team members and community members here in our online community. I am hopeful others will chime in here with their own personal words of encouragement.
Warm regards,
Leon (site moderator COPD.net)

I am hoping this will work. Iso need for him to be better. I have watched several of the help videos you have on this site and I pass it all onto Dan.
Thanks Leon,
Vicki

When I first got really ill with this COPD and it kind of took over my life, I had a lot of fear about every aspect of my life. Some of it has come true, I think that's inevitable, but a lot of it is just my magic magnifying mind. Yes, I can no longer do a lot of things I could just a couple of years ago, but I can still walk and talk and eat and engage with others. A very important part of my road to adjusting to living with COPD has been being lucky enough to have several caregivers who have been very encouraging and who pushed me to be more positive and try harder. I still fear it will one day take all I value, but I am not there yet, and as long as I can I will keep trying to be better, to improve my health and ability to do things, and that is thanks to those folks who taught me how to do that. My Doctors, Therapists, Nurses, most have been very helpful about my attitude - sometimes I need a good scolding or at least a reminder or it's easy to slip into that fear and become self-isolating and depressed. That doesn't work well with COPD - it takes effort and attitude. Sounds to me like Dan cold be experiencing similar things and might benefit from some of that help. To me COPD is like a fitness program that challenges me to win back lost ground while I can and not waste time sitting around with my lip stuck out. It is working for me - it's not easy, but it can help me feel better both physically and emotionally, which makes me better able to be with others and do more living. Just some of my observations. Your Dan is in my prayers and so are you. I wish you a more positive outcome each day, and a little more hope too. Even just a little a day makes a difference.

it's hard being the caregiver, especially when there's very little that you can do. I'm sure that this has been brought up at some point, but has he been to pulmonary rehabilitation? I went from being able to walk 5 miles an in hour to almost none. My pulmonologist put me in rehabilitation to prepare for possible procedures, and I'll be honest.... It was worth it. Yes, it was hard, and yes it sucked.. but I can walk just about 2 miles in an hour now, and I'm slowly maintaining that distance. Yes, all of my limbs feel like they're wrapped in water soaked wool cloth after I'm done, but I do feel a difference the next day. Maybe suggest it to Dan, it might work for him.