The Worst Part of COPD for Me
The worse part of COPD for me is the fact that I can no longer do the things I used to be able to do. My wife and I are moving in 3 more days. I have managed to do a fairly decent job preparing by packing and cleaning. This past weekend, we were able to move some stuff to the new place. Dishes, clothes, electronics, my musical equipment, etc.
My biggest problem is not being able to do what I consider my fair share of the work. My daughter, her husband, my 5-year-old grandson, and my wife did most of the lifting and moving stuff. I was relegated to sitting and watching everyone else carry and move stuff. I cannot help but feel a little guilty of not doing what I consider my fair share of the work.
Being a father of two daughters, while they were growing up, Dad was the go-to for anything needing fixed, set-up, or help with science and math (kind of my forte). I was a certified auto mechanic for several years and am pretty handy. Not so much anymore. This is where I am having some problem adapting to a different way of living. My wife and daughter are constantly telling me to sit down and let them get what needs to be done, done. I understand their concern as both have been around when I have overdone things in the past several months, and when I get completely out of breath and am forced to sit down and recover.
I totally get the whole psychological aspect of changing my mindset to match my physical abilities, now that they have changed. But that doesn't mean it is any easier to accept. I am slowly getting used to it, but it isn't easy. I think that once the move is over, and we are settled in, I will have a much easier time coming to grips with this aspect of COPD.
Thanks for listening and allowing me to vent. Take care everyone. I will update over the weekend or early next week on how the move went.
Hi @Dminor9, ughh I feel for you. I can hear how difficult this has been. Having to sit back and not be able to help the way you want to, must be so frustrating for you. I am so glad to hear you have so much support at home. I really hope the move goes as smoothly as it can. I look forward to reading your update once you are settled in. You are always welcome to share or vent here!! Jill, COPD.net, team member
Hi Dminor - so good to hear from you again! I knew you were preparing for the upcoming move, now only 3 days away! And so, I understood not hearing from you during this period of time.
I hear you, too! Adjusting mentally to one's physical limitations is a tremendous adjustment, to say the least! I find myself in a similar situation (as yours), but, that is a story for yet another day.
You are indeed fortunate (which I know you know and understand), to have such a loving, supportive and compassionate family. We appreciate, too, that you have shared with us several times just how wonderful your wife is.
From my own perspective (both personal and professional), you really have a good mindset about this - you remain flexible and receptive to change, no matter the challenge! I know your family thinks that much more of you for being able to do this!
You are a good man, Dminor! I am learning from you, too, thanks!!
You are more than welcome to vent your thoughts and feelings here...
Warmly,
Leon (site moderator COPD.net)Hello my friends. It's always hard to move. Even if your healthy. I have always hated to move. But I understand all of you about not being able to do your fair share. But hopefully your loved ones will understand sometimes it's just too hard for you to do the things you want. I have been a little under the weather. My daughter that help me a lot has moved now she is too far to come and help me like she did. I'm glad that she is better in herself. She has got a job. But it's 12 hour shifts and she's having to leave her baby my granddaughter with her husband's sister. So I'm not getting to see her and neither is my daughter not really. I am under a lot of stress because of this. But I guess I have to let her live her life the way she thinks she should. Rosemary is not too strong today. But you all stay strong
Sending you a big hug today, Rosemary. Family ties are so important and it makes the heart heavy to not see the people we care about. Do you have a smart phone or computer? Maybe you can find a way to have video calls or just a chat on the phone with your granddaughter (how old is she)? Be gentle with yourself and with your feelings. You don't have to be strong every day. We all understand and are here to support you. Take care. -Melissa, copd.net team Thank you for the kind words. She is 19 months old. She has been around me sense she was born. I feel like I lost both my babies. It sounds crazy but I miss them like you wouldn't believe. She has no time for me. She did my grocery shopping. Over for coffee in the morning. Feed the baby breakfast and we would talk for hours. Now there gone. I am heartbroken. Thank you all for listening. Stay strong
It's difficult to not be able to continue with life as it was. But, remember you can still do many things. Find the things you enjoy, it makes such a difference. I go out with the girls a couple of times a week for tea and a good conversation. It really lifts my spirits,\. There are still many things you can participate in. Keep happy thoughts, let out your anxiety be talking with someone who really cares when you have the bad days and remember to appreciate those people. Breathe slow and easy, relax and maybe listen to music,. The bad times will pass and you can enjoy your life. It isn't always easy but you do have some control. Best of luck and happy breathing Hi again, granny, and thanks so much for lending your own support and encouragement here. We appreciate your input and your feedback.
All the best,
Leon (site moderator COPD.net),
Thank you for the reply. I am actually not having problems adjusting to a new way of living. I am adjusting fine to what I can and cannot do. I was just stating that making such adjustment is not an easy thing to do. I still clean house, cook meals, run errands, work part-time, and have hobbies I do enjoy. I was just bringing up the psychological aspect of coping with COPD adjustments one must make. One of the hardest aspects is not being able to do the physical things you used be able to do and watching someone else do it for you. I apologize if my original post sounded like a cry out for help coping. It was not meant that way but was more a narrative of that particular aspect of life changes necessary for COPD. Now that our move is complete and settling in is well on the way, my most passionate hobby, composing, recording, and mixing my own music can continue without delay. I am good to go. You give sage advice granny2, please keep posting on this forum! Take care and God Bless.
