My mums complicated copd
My mums is 86 & this last couple of weeks has struggled with a bout of severe breathlessness & at the moment also saying her tongue feels like its burning, her throat is sore & her voice hoarse. & her ankles/feet are swollen up again, we think because her fluid meds have been reduced due to low sodium levels a couple of weeks ago. This was sorted out with a drop in hospital
Today at gp surgery her oxygen sats are 99% but says she is struggling to breathe..
She was diagnosed with copd a few years ago, after breaking a rib & puncturing a lung (9 years ago) from coughing & 'holding herself' she says. She had a lung full of liquid, which turned out to be blood, weeks of hospital visits, collapses, terribly high bp & fighting with hospital docs, she eventiually was admitted into hosp & had her lung drained.. but her health plummeted after all of this.. She also took up smoking in her sixties.. but even now only ever admits to smoking 1 or 2 a week, though I know it is at least this, & more, a day
There has been some discrepancy in whether she has copd from a couple of medics at the gp surgery over the last 3/4 years though when she has been admitted to hospital by ambulance on numerous occasions, for breathing problems & dangerously high bp, the doctors are in no doubt that it is copd... Mum though, still fights the diagnosis, citing all kinds of other reasons, including allergy to the inhalers..
She loves a plug in air fresheners, a smelly candle a diffuser etc.. which I & the doctors have told her will exacerbate her condition along with the smoking she denies. But recently she has also bought automatic air fresheners, one in her lounge, one in her bathroom & a plug in.. the smell hit me when I walked into her very very small bed retirement flat. But she goes tight lipped & cross if I dare say anything.. which I do!
HELP .. am I blaming her for her poor health unnecessarily?? Am I missing something?
Her visit to the gp today was all positive bp 130/70 oxygen sats 99% throat normal, couldnt find anything.. I asked the gp if it could be to do with the air fresheners & she instant said yes. She was very gentle with mum & explained why.. but mum got really cross saying she's fed up with feeling crap & even banged her fist on her leg. I'm at a loss, especially when she refuses to listen to anyone or even try to take steps to help herself 😔
By your language, I am assuming you are in the UK. It is true that perfume or any kind of scent causes problems to folks with COPD. Has she even had her heart checked? Often high BP can be caused by heart problems resulting in high bp. Doc should check for pulmonary hypertension. Is mum on oxygen? I also am in my 80's but had 2 open heart surgeries and am on oxy 24/7. Mum could use something to make her happy. Does she play board games, cards, etc. Pay attention to her, she may not be here forever.
@131d51
What a difficult situation,
. It is hard to help someone who won't help herself. I wouldn't necessarily say she is to blame for her condition. Cigarettes are highly addictive and she might find the thought of giving them up overwhelming. You will find lots of people in this community who still smoke with COPD and want nothing more than to stop. They just can't. I imagine that is even harder at 86 years old, especially if she is unhappy or lonely, as suggests.
The same might be true of the air freshener situation. If the scents make her happy, I can see why she finds it hard to give them up. Has she ever been evaluated for depression? Depression is a common comorbidity for people with chronic illnesses.
She might benefit from medication. Have her doctors considered that other health conditions might be contributiing to her symptoms? Swollen ankles can be indicative of circulation problems as can high blood pressure, asalso noted. Even if she had a cardiac evaluation a year or two ago, it might be time for another. Untreated type 2 diabetes can also make people angry and irrational. Has she had her A1C tested recently? The burning tongue and hoarseness are concerning as well. Has she been tested for bacterial or viral infections?
My mother was also very difficult in her later years when it came to self-care. She was a retired nurse, so she felt no one should interfere. Yet her type 2 diabetes was out of control and she often failed to take her synthroid. She had no thyroid, so that could have killed her. But we had to recognize that she was an adult with the freedom to decide how she wanted to live. So we kept a watchful eye and let her do what she was going to do. Eventually, she ended up in the UCI and was deemed unable to care for herself. That allowed us to step in. She was ready for help at that point, especially after she was diagnosed with vascular dementia.
What you are doing is hard. Very hard. It can take lots of support to get through it. Even when your mother is angry and banging her fist in her knee, I am willing to bet she is grateful to have you at her side. Please know we are here for you on this journey with your mother and that you can vent here safely whenever you feel the need. Warmest of wishes. - Lori (Team Member)
