Ruined Thanksgiving !
My daughter a couple weeks ahead of time asked if I would like to come to her house for Thanksgiving. So my wife and I planned on this. Then at the last minute she decided that she didn’t want the mess and decided to eat out instead. I reminded her of my condition and told her that I wound be unable to attend. She made reservations anyways. My wife and I stayed home making for a not so good Thanksgiving. Everyone has ill feelings towards me for ruining Thanksgiving.
First off, bravo to you and your wife for making a smart move. You have to be selfish about this or you die. It is just that simple. If others, especially those close to you, do not understand, and make no effort to try, then does it change what you need to do?
We had Thanksgiving at my house this year, like it has been done since my mother passed away 10 years ago. And I am thankful that the kids 'get it' about my limitations. They are picking up the slack and trading off from here out for holidays.
This is not a reflection on you or your wife. This is simply today's society pushing things that are inconvenient for them out of the way. Kids today live in an instant and disposable world. A potato in 5 minutes. Throw away your car in 5 years and get a new one. Shave, plates, cups, diapers, all just toss and forget. And it was only a matter of time before people became disposable too.
Be you and take care of you. You can't change the world, so be thankful for what you have in your small corner of it. God bless your wife for her support. My wife is also better than I deserve.
As somsone who has been the "family sick person" for decades I totally get what you mean. Most of the time they are good about it but every once in a while they let slip a "ok if you say so" when I tell them about things I can't do. It is obvious that they think I am exaggerating, but, unfortunately as
said sometimes we just have to be selfish about it for our own wellbeing. I have noticed that things usually end up facing away anyway and it's one to the next crisis. Everyone has something, and sometimes family can forget that! I'm sorry you are having to be the whipping boy for this holiday but think about it this way - if you "ruined" Thanksgiving by not being there then they must really, REALLY love having you around! 😂😊 Just know you are not alone and we get it! Keep on keepin' on, DPM Thank you so much !
My heart goes out to you, Sal. I'm sorry your daughter and extended family didn't understand how the change in plans would impact you. I wonder if having a heart to heart conversation could help. Or if she is local, maybe asking her to come with you to your next appointment could be enlightening. What do you think? We all have your back! -Melissa, team member
