Living with COPD
What's it like for me living with COPD....
The constant reminder that I used to smoke and gave it up years ago.
Sometimes the cold stares like I know what you did and you caused this to yourself.
Learning to forgive myself in a world that feels cruel.
I have learned to adapt to life on oxygen and not going to say it's an easy road.
I tend to get frustrated at times at myself.
Do anyone else feel this way?
gracefulgailg56,
I can certainly identify with your feelings. I am not to the point of being on oxygen yet, so I cannot comment on adapting to life with oxygen. I do not feel guilty at all for my years of smoking. I do not feel at all it is my fault for causing my COPD. It is what it is. There are many factors that contributed to my COPD. Working a steel mill in the 70's (before real PPE was required), working as a certified auto mechanic and managing several gas stations for years, working in a print shop with all the paper dust and such for lots of years, are just some of the outside conditions that contributed to my COPD. Add in yearly pollen, air pollution, exercise regiment or lack of, diet, etc. So it is just not smoking that causes COPD. I am sure there are COPD sufferers that have never smoked. Is kidney failure, heart attack, cancer, the fault of the sufferers of such medical problems? I don't think so. Maybe in some cases, but definitely not all. Guilt is a social feeling taught from early ages to control. I have learned to ignore guilt. I recognize it is there and then blow it off. Works for me. Guilt is a waste of energy. Why do you feel frustrated with yourself? Because you can no longer do the things you used to? That is going to happen with age anyway, COPD or not. Our lives change constantly as we age and our bodies age causing us to constantly adapt to our living circumstances. Are there times I get frustrated? Absolutely. At myself? Absolutely not. It is not my fault I can no longer do some of the things I used to. It is just the way it is. So I find work arounds. How can I do that differently and still achieve the result I want? It kind of helps keep the mind sharp to solve such situations. I guess the whole point of this too long response is to change your mindset to a more positive outlook. This will help more than you know. It is easier said than done. Seek counseling or therapy if necessary. Contact your medical team for advice on counseling or a therapist. Check local churches for help. Don't concern yourself on other peoples opinions. Opinions are like butts, everybody has one. Enough rattling on for me. Please take care ad God Bless!I will post my full story now 
Hi Matrixx - we will all look forward to you sharing your story with the community - thanks very much!
All the best,
Leon L (author/moderator)
gracefulgailg56 you are definitely not alone. Your post takes me back a few years +.
I was working at a pharmacy, cafe and store. At the time, I was running the cash register and someone I didn’t know heard that I have COPD. She said “Somebody told me that you have COPD. I must have heard wrong, you don’t have it.”
I replied, “I do have COPD, you are right.”
She said: “You don’t have COPD, because if you did, you would be on oxygen”.
I tried to explain to her that not everyone has COPD and that I do have night oxygen. She put her hand up and waved me away. She then walked away.
Know that we are here for you too. Thank you for sharing. We do have a variety of Family stories. Just type family in the search magnifying link above.
Here is a link to my own ‘coming out’.
https://copd.net/living/came-out-closet
Janet (moderator/COPD.net)
