ITS HARD TO SAY

Hi. Thank you for coming here to share your heart with us. It's not easy to be struggling and scared. I think most people here can relate to that.

It's not fair for your son to blame you for your illness. All of us get sick, all of us will need help and support someday. You are still worthy of care, compassion and respect -- all of us deserve that.

Your husband is probably working through his own fears and emotional struggles, just like you are. Even if it's hard to talk about, you might find that having an honest and loving conversation with him helps to bring both of you closer together. Not talking about the future is understandable, but in the end it can make the hurt worse, sometimes.


Have you talked with your doctor about your fears and concerns? He might suggest some medication to help you with the panic attacks, and maybe some additional support at home (like a home health aide). It might also help you to connect with a counselor, minister or hospice worker who can help you sort through your thoughts and feelings in a safe way. A lot of these supportive people now offer telehealth services, so you can talk to them online or over the phone.

We are here to support you and to listen. Feel free to share with us as often as you need to. I am sending you a gentle hug tonight. Take good care of yourself, okay? -Melissa, copd team

Hello my heart goes out to you. It isn’t fair that your son is shaming you. I don’t know which generation you were from, but I remember the time when doctors would smoke in hospitals, even with me. We thought they were safe. Everyone smoked, everywhere.
Remind your son that we can’t go backwards in time. Could it be that he is afraid of losing you?
Your husband sounds like he loves you so much. Does he have a support system? He is welcome to anonymously share here. Maybe he would like to talk with someone face to face there.
Have you talked with your doctor about all that’s going on? Maybe your doctor would write you a prescription for an antidepressant. That could help to improve your quality of life. Also, do you have a social worker or someone with social services? There are things that they could help you with, such as Meals on Wheels, home health, counseling services, and more.
You say you are close to leaving this world, have you talked with anyone about hospice? They are amazing for the patient and the family.
I’m grateful that you have found us. We are here for you too.
Janet (moderator/COPD.net)