I’m just having the blues
I have tried for years to keep optimistic with my COPD. I have exercised, drink lots of water, watched that I eat nutritional foods and really limit any junk. Take medications daily. I practice mindfulness & have a strong spiritual connection. I use oxygen nocturnally and with exercise. All of that has helped me not progress to quickly with this disease. I’ve developed hobbies I really enjoy and that’s a blessing.
Now, winter is approaching. I keep reading that to be social is so important. I’m only social via phone & text. When first diagnosed I would have a lot of flare ups. That has now been controlled by medications, exercise and everything I’ve learned that can help our condition but mostly keeping away from those who are sick. I get immunizations that doctor advises.
Ever since Covid reared its ugly head I’ve lived like a hermit. Then flu season or colds scare me. I just read how whooping cough is making a comeback. I’ve told friends and family about my concerns and I know they care but it’s amazing how some just don’t get it. Someone wants to visit and I ask if they’re feeling good or been around anyone sick. I don’t know how many people then replied “ Oh my friend had COVID but that was last week” or something like that. Or I just had the flu…
I feel the only people who get it are those with a chronic disease or immunocompromised. I don’t like living this way but I do know it prevented me from getting sick. When I had a flare up it could take me 2 months to recover and then almost another month to regain any energy. So I decided which is the worst of the two evils and decided being so sick and having copd worsen was the worst. I’m afraid to go to weddings or parties. I have worn a mask but I find it very difficult to breathe well in a small group & sit far enough away. Sometimes I feel like this will never end in my lifetime. I feel there will always be something new spreading that alienates me from my fellow human beings. It was very depressing in the beginning and I have adapted to this way of life but would love to be how I once was but realize this is not my karma. Any suggestions as I don’t want my mental or emotional health going downward. The holidays are not anything like they use to be. I don’t really look forward to them. I have a wonderful husband. He is very careful and so helpful. I try to keep a sense of humor. We watch comedies together and it’s so good to laugh not thinking of any problems in the world for awhile. I have a lab & he is lots of fun.
I just get the blues every once in a while and wonder how you handle these times. I know I’m lucky in many ways and thanks for letting me vent.
This is KatieLou, I forgot to say one of the worst feeling for me is life goes on and people are going to concerts, cruises all over the place and sometimes I want to scream, “ I’m still alive”. It reminds me of Alzheimer’s disease in that it’s like a second death. The person you use to be & now who you are. I have a friend that just got back from a cruise & now has pneumonia. She wanted to come visit & show me pictures. That got delayed, thank God.
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Hi KatieLou, sorry to hear of you feeling the blues. I can definitely identify with those feelings. Especially at this time of year. I have missed the past 3 Thanksgivings being sick. Pneumonia in 2021 and 2023, and Covid in 2022. It seems like this time of year is bad for me. I plan not to get sick this year. I am skipping a "friendsgiving " dinner tomorrow night at my nephews house but pretty much have to make the Thanksgiving Day at my oldest daughter's house. I am looking forward to seeing a lot of relatives, but at the same time I am apprehensive about getting sick. I for once would like to make it through the holiday season without being sick. I will also miss my oldest daughter's Nutcracker ballet performance on December 7th. I think it is a bad idea to sit in an auditorium with hundred or more other people for several hours. So I will miss that. At least the family knows about my condition and most understand. It does get boring and depressing at times to miss out on a lot of things, but it is better than getting a flare up or worse yet, an infection. When I get depressed, I eat a CBD/Delta 9 (THC) gummy and listen to music, work on a model, play a video game, or just chill and watch a movie. I do my best not to indulge in my feelings too much. It is easy to get sucked down with depression and feeling crappy about living like a hermit. But it is better than not being alive. I still get to see my grandsons at least weekly if not more, get to give my landlord's dog treats daily, and can feed the Horses and Goats from the animal rescue next door. Not to mention having a wonderful wife of 44 years and counting.
So many of my friends and acquaintances are worse off than I am. Cancer, heart problems, diabetes, joint replacements, Parkinsons, are just a few things that I am aware of. I feel I am better off with just COPD, even though I am a bit of a hermit. This might be a bit morbid, but when I am feeling low, I sometimes watch Dr. Pimple Popper and I see what other people have lived with for years and years, and it always makes me feel not so bad about myself.
Dealing with the blues is almost a daily thing with COPD, but I just do my best not to think about it too much. I try to stay busy as much as possible and refuse to feel sorry for myself. That wastes too much energy. Us COPD sufferers need all the energy we can get. So I try not to waste it on feeling down. Keep you chin up KatieLou and smile. You owe it to yourself. Take care and God Bless!Thank you. I know you’re right. I was nervous this am as I thought I was getting sick. I think it’s passed. I use the gummies and a tincture at times. The tincture opens my airways. I think I’ll try some in a few minutes. I know what you mean about feeling sorry for yourself. It doesn’t help anything. Something like a dark cloud came over me and I really got down. My sister just got out of hospital & just a lot of things just lately. Normally I have good days but once in a while this happens. I enjoy reading about your hobbies and mine usually keep me busy and quite happy. I love music, too. Hope your wife is feeling much better.
You did cheer me up. You take care and God bless!
