Dying
Today and yesterday I was extremely fatigued and today I'm very short of breath. I know it's not going to improve so I wish I was dead already. I'm finding this extremely discomforting and I am irritated and aggravated by every aspect of existing. I've been stuck in this house for weeks and I'm sick of it. I will not go to the e.r because I don't want to be kept alive any longer than I have to be and that's what will happen if I go. I will continue to smoke heavily as I have for 38 years because it will speed things up and hasten my death. I can't stand to be here any longer.
Hi Sam1,
It breaks my heart to read your post. I'm so sorry for how you're feeling and what you're going through. We all have our breaking point and it sounds like you've reached yours. Being stuck in the house, islolated, and secluded can have a terrible effect on us, especially when we're already feeling down.
Please know that there are people that care about you. I'm sure you've read similiar stories here on COPD.net that show others can and do relate to what you're going through. It doesn't change it, but it is good to know others can sympathize with us.
I know you said you don't want to go to the ER, but please don't suffer with the shortness of breath if you don't have to. You may have developed an infection that could be helped by medication or something equally simple. You always have the choice to say yes or no to treatment - so please don't avoid going becuase you think they'll force you to do something you don't want.
I'm glad you found this site and feel comfortable expressing yourself - others can relate.
Warmest Regards,
Lyn (moderator)
Hi Sam1.
Like, Lyn, my heart goes out to you. Lyn has provided you with some powerful and heartfelt guidance. Suffering at home alone will only increase your discomfort. Seeking support and care may help you to feel better. There are many here on our website who can provide emotional support and clear guidance. Please continue to voice your thoughts here as you need to, but also, either call your physician and/or make a visit to the Emergency Department.
We are here to you!Should you feel the need for additional support some of these resources might be able to help:
COPD Information Line: 1-866-316-COPD (2673)Plus these online support groups:
- Lung Connection Community: http://connection.lung.org/
- My Fighting for Air Community: http://lung.lotsahelpinghands.com/caregiving/home/
- Better Breathers Clubs: http://www.lung.org/.../connect.../better-breathers-clubs/
I know this is a lot of info at once but this list provides you with some alternate support that is easily accessible.Wishing you the best,
Leon (site moderator)Hi Sam1, I just read your message and I'm sorry that you're going through so much. I too have COPD plus a couple more so I know approx. how you're feeling. I was going through the same thing and it turns out that I had infection in my lungs that turned into pneumonia. Please don't be in a hurry to leave this world without first finding out what's causing all the problems. Believe me when I say, if you find out that you have an infection and you take medication for it, your outlook will change for the better. I hope that I've helped.
Hi frogndog2, and thanks for your post lending support to Sam. His post is from 2 years ago - we have not heard from him in any manner since his initial post. At that time he posted quite often, but that is all we know at this point in time. We appreciate you taking the time to make your comments to Sam.
Regards,
Leon (site moderator)
