COPD Delirium
Hi guys. Not really having time to elaborate but. This might be approaching the end of the line for my mom. I'm not sure if I should be trying to medicate my mom out of this, or what. But she's on hospice for COPD and she's sort of dropped off into delirium. She can eventually be dragged out of it but she will slip back in. Hospice supplies Haldol but they told me to not use it if she isn't being self-harm-y or other harm-y. Her lungs and all seem to sound the same as they've always done (according to hospice). I don't know if I should take her off of hospice for COPD and return her to her specialist for treatment, or a psych, or what.
Her blood pressure also went through the floor last month and so she needed to be removed from both BP meds which is apparently a sign that she's.. progressing.
I'm just not sure what to do to do right by her. We were expecting to lose her in Oct, she's made it through Nov now. Lots of dreams of going out on bus trips with seniors and other stuff - the kinds of things she used to do to entertain herself post-retirement. She worries about being able to get back home - to here. I feel like a lodestar reminding her over and over.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I'm not done yet. I just don't know what would be better.
Hi again, Lunhilde - it's good to see you engaging again with the community. I remember you shared your mother's condition here with the community several months ago. We had quite a few conversations with you about your mom's situation - it's understandable the emotional challenges you are facing now.
We hear all you are going through and send you as much support as we can.
Please know we are all pulling for you and your mom. Do you have any other family, friends or spiritual support to help you manage this?
Please know you are always welcome here in our online community. If there is anything we can do to assist you, please let me or any other moderator / team member know.
Warm regards,
Leon (site moderator COPD.net)Thanks. Pretty sure I was literally dragged underwater the past month and a half cause it felt like I was drowning with her. It was like she forgot how to use her oxygen cannula, endlessly out of breath, lungs in agony, etc, but nursing would say the same every visit that her lungs were no worse. The big blessing is in the last three days she's suddenly remembered how to breathe through her cannula again which is great, as it means she isn't needing morphine (and she's not like out of breath but refusing, she just doesn't seem to need it either). She's also walking again without panicking and losing her mind. I am just observing this without being optimistic or pessimistic, as she's still kind of delirious. A couple days ago she popped out briefly, and at least has touched onto reality again. I try not to be optimistic because so far that's bad. If she drops into even a two minute nap, it seems, that's when she floats off again and can't re-orient. Her pulseox stays in normal ranges even when sleeping, and so the dr's explanation of her brain not getting it isn't clicking with me because when she's asleep her pulseox is at 96+. Her family dr sounded annoyed and condescending at best on the phone with me when I had said I wanted her to go in for an appointment. They were insisting on seeing her every three weeks in person for awhile but now apparently I guess they don't want me to bring her in when I think she actually needs to be seen. It's very frustrating. Immediate Family is all out of state save for the one who is... not willing to assist, if that is understandable, and as an extended family goes we're pretty separate from one another. I'm allergic to asking for help especially when I know that the "if you need anything's are usually unable to be actually acted on. When it rains it pours and there are other family emergencies going on concurrently. My mother has always been a "I can pray in the closet" Christian and so had no church community and really has no urge or want to talk to the chaplain.
I also got a new PC last month so lost a lot of my login credentials for a bit. And I'm only getting about 4-6 hours of sleep a night and not a lot of time to wander the web.
It does just help though to have someplace to vent. Thanks.
Hugs. I won't write a long response because I know how busy you are, but your situation is so familiar. I lost one grandmother to COPD in 2013 and the other to breast cancer (spread to lungs) in February. All you can do is the best you can, and you are clearly doing that in advocating for mom. Did she share any thoughts about how she hopes end of life care to be? I'm not saying this is "the end," but maybe her feelings surrounding that can help guide your decision making. Do you have a social worker through hospice? I am concerned about how it's hard to step away and talk when Mom is agitated. You need that space both for practical reasons and to take care of your own wellbeing, even if she gets upset. You can't pour from an empty cup, as they say. Keep us posted as you're able -- we support whatever you choose to do. I'll be thinking about you all. -Melissa, copd.net team
I wouldn't say she is is ready to earth. Her Bp. Is down. Great sign.did you ever get her a-CPAP to wear at bed time, and naps. That helps a lot. When your lung are having a hard time breathing at night. This CPAP pushes oxygen into her lungs.as for me they gave me zantac a very small dosage.that relaxes me. So I can breath better. There is so much resource out there. I would try, see how it goes. That's a big decision to make.I really feel for you, and I know it's so hard. You both are in my prayers. heya. I have like no time to respond to much. She wont even sleep with a mask on at night, im not sure if I can get her a cpap. At night her oxygen is usually 96+ if I check it, she breathes better sleeping than awake. Something though keeps making her pop awake at night. It feel slike if I could just get her to SLEEP the full 8h she'd be better. When I could get her to sleep through the night she was way more clear but now again her sleep is disrupted and this leads to a but of craziness. she goes from apologizing for this being so hard to like, completly weird dream things where she starts fighting with me. I can see her eys are looking into middle distance in those moments thogh so I can tell she isnt really looking at me, so she dosnt think it is really me, if tha makes sense. She's dreaming awake. my new phrase is "I dont need you to believe me, I just need you to trust me." sigh. its 1am and im still up, she's been up every 2h tonight. tomorrow will be fun. no nurse cause she has a day off and I ahve to run around to get her car paid for and fixed (someone decided to steal her catlytic converter while its been sitting here). sigh 
Hi Salt56, I was wondering how you are doing, well I hope.X
