A gradual change of thought
I found myself in some stress this morning after letting my Great Dane out, back in, feeding her, making coffee, and returning to the computer room. A lot to accomplish while still fighting off the flu and managing stage 3 COPD. And that is what prompted this message. I hope it can help another in similar shoes.
I had to pause once, to manage my breathing in between the tasks I mentioned, and it occurred to me that my whole acceptance of this change to my life was both permanent and manageable. After a period of time, without real thought, go into a conservation mode, influencing those things that I can, the best that I can. It has become automatic. I find this both satisfying, yet depressing, knowing that I can fend for myself pretty well, even under duress, but I also lament the fact that what was will never be again in my life. Everything has changed.
It begins with making the right choices, learning the best techniques, contributing to a treatment plan with my doctors and embracing that plan. It yields dividends for my condition, but, again, I reflect on the loss of a different way of life.
I know I can never go back, there is no cure and progression will happen. It can bring one to near tears when there seems little hope to 'get better'. But, in my lifetime, I can remember the first successful heart transplant. The eradication of centuries-old causes of epidemics. Preventions of some cancers. Gene editing and therapy. And curiously, this is where hope renews. So much is being done, and I wait with baited breath, hoping that the wonderful world of medicine opens a new door for us folks with this disease. So yes Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus.
I can definitely identify with what you are saying. After decades on my own chronic illness journey we definitely find ways to circumvent and get around the limitations our illnesses inflict on us. Also conserving energy and resources for the times you really need it becomes almost second nature, and even though it falters sometimes, hope does more or less spring eternal. I wonder what our other community members think? Keep on keepin' on, DPM 
This is a great reflection, and I really appreciate the vulnerability that it took to share with us. While just about everyone here on the site has COPD, I think your post is applicable to everyone, regardless of their health status. If we are fortunate enough to live a "normal" life, we will have to face aging, sickness and all
he frustrations that come along with that. It is difficult to not be able to do the things we once could, or to not feel as well as we did. We all have our own ways of coping with that, but I think the important thing is that we find and use those coping tools as soon as we can. It can make a real difference in our perspective and mental health. Thank you for sharing what that looks like for you. Hugs! -Melissa, team member
