Today and yesterday I was extremely fatigued and today I’m very short of breath. I know it’s not going to improve so I wish I was dead already. I’m finding this extremely discomforting and I am irritated and aggravated by every aspect of existing. I’ve been stuck in this house for weeks and I’m sick of it. I will not go to the e.r because I don’t want to be kept alive any longer than I have to be and that’s what will happen if I go. I will continue to smoke heavily as I have for 38 years because it will speed things up and hasten my death. I can’t stand to be here any longer.