Snowflakes

Yesterday I was watching the snow fall and was reminded of our science study, so many years ago, where we were taught that each snowflake is different. I can remember as a child trying to catch those snowflakes on my tongue or catching them in my hand. How I loved the snow.

I thought about how the snowflakes are like each of us, we are all unique and different from each other.

Even our health issues vary, as does our place of residence. I can’t help but smile, meeting people from all over the world is a wonderful experience that could only happen in a dream when I was in school. Pen pals were an adventure - to hear about their lives and locations, how exciting to a younger mind. Now to meet people from different parts of the world and to learn of their cultures is a dream come true. You see, I hadn’t heard of internet until about 2007, I was behind the times I know. What do snowflakes have to do with this? It reminded me too of how unique we all are. As we meet other people in our home areas or people across the world, no two are alike.

It would be so nice if we were all diagnosed the same, knowing we all have COPD.

It would be nice if treatments were the same. They aren't though. Like snowflakes, we all have our differences. It’s so important that we respect that in each other, as we should respect each other’s differences. It’s wonderful that we can learn from each other and our different diagnoses of COPD: emphysema; bronchitis; or Alpha-1. We need to respect that and not to criticize because we think that is wrong. We can share our health issues, but the only one who can truly treat a person is their doctor. And there are differences by doctors and locations. If you feel there should be more, or a doctor with a better bedside manner, then do get a second opinion.

It’s kind of silly, but on some days like this, or like yesterday with the snowflakes, I feel such peace and light heartedness. Sentimental is the word.

These days, I’m not a fan of snow, because it affects my breathing. But it’s beautiful.

Even though I might feel heavier in the chest and experience more shortness of breath, I feel more lighthearted. I pace myself and move slower. The dizziness is there too, but I will not let them take over my sentimental and peaceful feelings. Have you experienced this light heartedness? I sure hope so, it’s a feeling that is so freeing. I choose to hang onto that for as long as I can. I’ll lay down again in a little while, then will continue to hold on.

I hope that’s something you can experience. I have to admit, it doesn’t come often, but when doing the pursed lip breathing, I breathe in peace, relax my body and it's not so bad. So that frustration, weariness, sadness, etc. don’t take over. It’s hard to do, and I often struggle, but when I have it, I hold on. Is it yoga? Not that I know of. Is it self-hypnosis? I don’t know that either. I do pray. I do coach myself, with breathing, etc. It’s hard, very hard to do at times.

Some days I do get confused. I struggle with words and my husband helps me figure out what I’m saying. It’s been like this for a few years. I’m not sure if it’s because of COPD, medications or other health issues. I get shaky and feel such weakness every so often. I get very tired, exhausted at times during the day, sometimes it’s overwhelming that I have to go to bed or I will crash. There are so many things with COPD. Even though today I am feeling the COPD crunch, I’m not that bad and I’m hanging onto this peaceful feeling. Ok, I did have ¼ of a chocolate Hershey bar, just for that extra happiness booster.