Stage 4

Hi . Thanks for brightening my day with this adorable pup! I saw in other posts that your sister has stage 4 COPD. My heart goes out to you. It can be very difficult to watch someone you love do battle with this condition. It can leave you feeling helpless. But I am glad she has you at her side and that you found this community. I hope others will chime in with some insight and experiences, but I can tell you what I know from dealing with my brother-in-law, who also has COPD.
The most important thing, in my experience, is to treat them like they are the same person with all the same wants and needs as before COPD became debilitating. Often, people will treat those with debilitating conditions like patients instead of treating them like loved ones. Know that your sister probably wants to be invited places even if she has to decline over and over and over again. She also wants to have good conversations, maybe over coffee, even if she has to take frequent breaks to catch her breath. She wants to feel human and useful and she needs to know that simply being herself -- offering observations, advice and opinions -- still brings others joy.
As you already know, people in stage 4 often need help with all things physical from showers to groceries to housekeeping. It's frustrating and, sometimes, embarrassing to need help from others for all those things. Try to be positive and patient, but let her vent if she needs to. If she wants to try something herself, let her try even if it seems to take forever. It might be super important to her. Work with her to arrange rides to appointments so she doesn't have to ask. That can make people feel like a burden when, in reality, those who love them often appreciate the opportunity to help.
I hope people who actually have stage 4 COPD offer their perspectives, but it sounds like you are doing all the right things. I saw that you encouraged her to get therapy and that you are in therapy yourself. That is awesome! What a great thing for you both.
Please know we are here for you whenever you need us. Warmest of wishes. - Lori (Team Member)

Hello ! My name is Doris and I am a Stage 4 COPD patient. Thank you for seeking and learning information that could help you and your sister to understand more so what is going on with her health and seeking ways to help her and yourself.

What I can tell you is that Lori is spot on with information she has shared.
As for myself, I am not in need of to much assistance from someone at this time. Most important to me at this time is a "driver", yes my doctors only wish I drive if it's an emergency and there is no other option. This is not do to my COPD but yet another Chronic Condition I have, until that gets handled then no driving with that small exception. I do know from being a caregiver in the past that I need to communicate with my family / caregivers, they can not read my mind. Some people (patients) tend to think people around them should just know what is needed. My goal is to stay as independent as possible. If my husband sees my struggle, he will ask me if I need help, I answer him, yes or no and we move on from there. There is many good days, but the bad days arrive and there is where a little extra help is needed, I ask for it.

I could suggest a few things that cold be helpful for now or even in the future, but did not want to overwhelm you with information either, you have a lot going on. Hope you all the best and keep ubeing an amazing sibling!

sorry it took a little time to come back, but alias was having a little bit of a problem for a few days. So what I was thinking is this. Stages of COPD is based on the function or lack of function of the lungs, not the mind or body. They all go hand in hand though and we are all different in what are needs will be pending on the mind and the body. You already have your sister seeking help for the mind, what about the body? Exercise, even simple walks are great to help keep each and everyone stronger longer. If your sister is weakened or has been unable to get around as once she could, it might be a great idea to encourage her and if not join her in some exercising. Many things can be found on youtube.com love that place. First I would suggest, breathing exercises, these will be helpful always from just normal daily stuff to when she might get winded or have an exasperation episode.
Next I would suggest is some sitting exercises, there is an old TV series on youtube called "Sit to be Fit". These have been my go to videos. Again if you can join in and be a exercise buddy or another family member or friend, it would make it more fun / easier to do and keep going with it. EATING as healthy as possible. Breathing is easier with smaller meals, just add a couple more through out the day, of course there could be a little fun foods added when there is room LOL. Some foods could cause heart burn, making it harder to breath, so of course weaning those out of the diet is always helpful. To help, maybe find a new recipe or two to try out, get cooking with her, thus both are keeping your minds off any problems you might be having. Positive attitude is always a PLUS

Items that might be helpful now or in the future. Keep in mind some insurances might help pay for some of these items, known to the insurance companies as "durable equipment" Cane, 4 prong cane, walker, toilet seat riser and or commode,
Shower chair, removeable shower head, hand rails in and/ or on outside of tub / shower to help getting in and out. IF needed and insurance won't cover, check in to 2nd hand shops, local charities, Estate and garage sales.. they all can be cleaned and continued to be used, saving some money along the way.

Well that's all i have again... just we are all so different it is hard to state when someone might need, but we all need the above and lots of support and love.

Thanks for being that brother that cares!

Hi there! Thank you for your response and time. I agree exercise is critical. Since she has been unable to get to pulmonary rehab, video exercise makes perfect sense. As I write, my sister is just getting home from a week in the hospital, 5th visit since January 🙁. She was so glad to be back home with her kitty in her own space. We had some amazing cleaning folks come change her sheets, and clean big items. Meanwhile, we have agree she will move to CA with me in my 1 story home where she will not need to climb or descend stairs to go outside! That in itself will be so helpful. She will be able to sit on my deck and get some fresh air, vitamin D, and entertainment from my three dogs each day. As soon as she gets here, I will cook healthy for her, and do the video exercises with her. I am going out to see her next week to organize the move with hopes of transporting her with the next few weeks before I have a total hip replacement 9/6. By then, she should be settled in a little. I know she’s scared and not terribly excited to move from her home of 30 years, I am going to make her as welcome and comfortable as she can be. I am so glad to have this group…

To everyone, 🙏 🫶