I was supposed to have an appointment with my doctor soon after being diagnosed but she is on a long cruise. she should be back tommorow. but i have a few questions before my appointment.
I have been on here alot, learning. Also, I read a book, "The secret to thriving with COPD." and learned from that as well.
I have not been staged yet because she wanted me to get things calmed down a bit with oral steroids. I also do brextri twice a day and I have a rescue inhaler which I do not need to use every day.
Over the past few weeks my voice has changed to a feeble old lady voice. my throat doesn't hurt but my voice is affected. is that common and is it from the brextri?
I keep hearing about nebulizers but I don't know anything about them.
I have not been staged yet, but I assumed that I must have been in a deep depression which caused me to be unable to be up for more than ten minutes. I was constantly coughing and phlegmy
but if there is one thing I am good at, regretably, it is denial. lol
I'm going to go ahead and tell my story now.
I am still smoking one cigarette a day. when I smoke it my stress and blood pressure immediately go down and then gradually builds again until my next cigarette.
I am Autistic but was not diagnosed until my youngest son was. I could never figure out why I was so weird and different until I found out I am Autistic. I was so relieved to discover my unique differences were not because of character flaws.
My childhood, bot at home and in public was horrible. All sorts of abuse and no one would believe the "retarded little spaz."
When I was 8 years old, because of it all I developed selective mutisn, which in no way is ELECTIVE mutism. I understood everything that people said but could not "find the words" to speak.
I tried so hard to talk because my lack of speech just gave everyone more excuses for how they treated me. 7 years passed.
In real life and on tv shows I often saw women holding a cigarette and asking whoever was around them, "got a light?"
3 words, that's all I needed. I practiced them alone and stole[which is a big deal for an Autistic because we are generally such "rules" kids.] Vantage cigarettes from my father and learned to smoke.
By the time I asked someone for a light the first time, it wasn't difficult to continue the conversation. [Research decades later showed that nicotine could stimulate synapses in the brain, so I'm sure that had a lot to do with it]
No longer mute, over the next 5 decades I tried to quit smoking numerous times. I was always afraid I would lose my ability to communicate and that was just one reason I returned to smoking.
Now, I have COPD. I have a disabled adult son [he is also Autistic, but that is NOT his disability] who needs me to live as long as possible. there are others I love but he is my biggest concern.
So, almost a non smoker. I have decided when I am ready to give up that one a day that I will probably need to continue nicotine for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that.
I know this is rambly. I am nervous and it is difficult to put my words together with such a drop in nicotine. sorry