Help caring for someone with COPD
Hi All, my mother (73) was diagnosed many years ago with COPD and it had been completely manageable however, 3 years ago my mum contracted COVID whilst in hospital which led to Pneumonia and other complications. Once she had recovered from that her breathing never really improved and the damage had been done to her lungs. The new normal is severe COPD with long term oxygen therapy and other drugs. She is also bed bound due to a compressed nerve in her back and arthritis. I was told mid last year her level was severe but not sure if it has progressed to end stage or not.....feel a bit like we are winging it and don't really get told much about this aspect of it.
She has careers twice a day but I am also her primary career. Generally she copes very well with it but lately it does seem to be getting her down mentally, she is struggling more and seems more tired. She is also worried about her blood pressure/heart rate as it goes so high when she moves (getting washed/changed/toilet etc) and takes a while to settle back down.
I've contacted the doctor but wondered if anyone had any tips ideas I can use to help her cope mentally and also with calming down/recovering quicker after moving?
Thank you!
Hi
. What a difficult situation. My heart goes out to you both. Has your mother ever tried pursed-lip breathing? It can be wonderful for slowing down breathing and easing anxiety. Here is an article about it: https://copd.net/guest-expert/pursed-lips-are-not-just-for-kissing.
It's not uncommon for people who are bedbound to experience depression, unfortunately. It there any hope for treatment for the compressed nerve? Do you feel like her doctor is really trying to address the nerve and arthritis issues and get her out of bed? If not, it might be worthwhile to get a second opinion. Ageism in the medical field is real. Some doctors feel that risky or complicated treatment isn't "worth it" for older people who have other health issues, but it should be explored when possible.
It is really important for people who are so debilitated to feel needed and useful, especially if they are experiencing depression. Are there any activities she is able to do while in bed, like knitting or crafting? It can be uplifting to make things that bring happiness to others, even small things. Deep conversations can help as well. She might enjoy the idea that people depend on her for advice, comfort or a listening ear.
Do any friends or family come to visit? Is she able to get online and explore communities like this? Online support is not the same as in-person support, but it can help people who are stuck in bed or homebound feel less isolated.
I hope this helps and that others chime in with some ideas. I also hope that you are taling time to care for yourself. You won't be much help to her if you are not happy and healthy. Please know we are here for you whenever you need us. Hugs! - Lori (Team Member)
