So this is my life now?

By Gemini lady

1 min read

Greetings everyone! I'm Janice, 66 y/o, and I was diagnosed with stage 3 COPD in February. I also have asthma and allergies. Life has changed a lot since the diagnosis.

I'm still learning

My pulmonologist started me on Trelegy. I had been on Advair for asthma, and it wasn't working very well. Trelegy is a game changer! Pulmonary rehab was great too. I learned so much about breathing and how to exercise safely with my condition and build up stamina and improve my lung function. I learned so many things I wish I didn't have or need to know. And I'm still learning. And trying to accept and understand. And realize this is the way things are now. It's tough. I have OCD and anxiety/panic disorder, too. And they all feed each other. And feed my guilt about what I have done to myself.

Finally smoke-free!

I smoked for over 50 years. I quit for 2 years, then went back to it. And I kept trying to quit again, and I just couldn't. Finally, I accepted I could not quit. I felt trapped, a prisoner of my own doing. But I have escaped...Feb. 13, I quit! I'm 282 days smoke-free, thanks to my wonderful pulmonologist! He prescribed Nicotrol, a nicotine nasal spray. Expensive but well worth it. I don't smoke anymore and I truly don't want to ever again. My health has improved significantly. And I have almost 1,000.00 in a savings account where I've been putting the money I would have spent on cigs. And I used some of that money to buy myself a treadmill!

Feeling proud

I am very proud of myself now instead of being ashamed. But the guilt still follows me, and I don't know how to deal with it. Maybe someone here can give some advice or suggestions. I've rambled on here long enough for now. I look forward to all the benefits of this site and the community. Peace and Love to all!

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CommunityMemberbd40e9 Member
I'm 66 y.o. Was diagnosed in Feb. 2018. Have no idea what stage. 
1. Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
 Hi <inline-mention username="CommunityMemberbd40e9" user-id="2470815"/>, and thanks for joining in the conversation here. Are you being followed by a physician? Has the doctor provided information for you about this disease? If there is anything we can assist you with, please let me or any other moderator/team member know. You are always welcome here! All the best, Leon L (author/moderator)
Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
Hi <inline-mention username="Gemini lady" user-id="8774358"/>, and thanks so much for your candor in sharing your own story with the community. You are certainly in the right place! Here on our site, we have an entire community which understands how you feel and knows exactly what you are going through, too! I want to congratulate you on being smoke-free now, for over 282 days - keep up the good work! This is an accomplishment that you certainly can feel proud of - hold your head high! You are certainly not alone harboring feelings of guilt - others in the community have expressed similar sentiments when it comes to COPD and smoking. While I am hopeful others in the community will see your inquiry and respond, I thought you might find it helpful to read this material which speaks to that very concern: <a href='https://copd.net/living/let-go-guilt' target='_blank'>https://copd.net/living/let-go-guilt</a> I do hope you find the information is helpful in a practical way. All the best, Leon L (author/moderator)
CommunityMembere29673 Member
After climbing a very high I could not breath. I was then 66 years old and had just retired. I diagnosed myself as I had seen my dad die with emphysema so I knew immediately this was what I had. I had smoked since I was 18. After that day I never touched another cigarette. I am now 82 years old and without my inhaler am unable to even go to the mailbox. I Sure hope the people with copd quit smoking immediately if they want to make it 16 years as I have. Good luck!
1. Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
 Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience with the community, <inline-mention username="CommunityMembere29673" user-id="8783243"/> - we appreciate it! Quitting smoking is one of the most important accomplishments one can do for themselves - I am glad to hear that you were able to quit smoking 16 years ago - keep up that good work!! Please know you are always welcome here in our online community. All the best, Leon L (author/moderator)
2. Rambo Member
 You're doing great . You have already outlived most people that don't have this disease . Keep up the good work and congratulations .
CopdGirl Member
Hi Gemini Lady, There is one thing that Copd, Emphysema has given us , is that we wouldn't have all the lovely , kind people on this site that is one positive thing. I,m sure.X
1. Gemini lady Member
 Yes that is very true!
Pinky196063 Member
I feel 'ya. I'm somewhere between racked with guilt & understanding the reality of the situation we're faced with. Guilt over why I kept smoking even though it killed my sister at 40, & the reality of knowing that we were "allowed" to become addicted by corporations that were propelled by greed. We were told that "doctors recommend X brand" of smokes & how "Y" brand of menthols gives us "fresh breath" in the "T" zone... Once we're addicted-it takes YEARS to quit. Yeah, we knew...but did we? I'm accepting my responsibility in this, but I'm also well aware of the manipulation that got us here. I'm on the list for mental health counseling at my local health cente. I'm very open with folks about how I got here. My job allows LOTS of public contact, & hopefully I can advocate for smokers to quit without being judgemental. New Year's motto for 2024... "Self care is NOT selfish" 
1. Melissa.Arnold Community Admin
 Hey, <inline-mention username="Pinky196063" user-id="8793125"/>. I really appreciate the honesty with which you shared some of your story here. While I was not around during the era of doctor- and media-supported smoking, I know very well the power those things had on the culture for generations, and to some degree, still does. Be gentle with yourself. You may know that nicotine is among the toughest drugs to quit, even tougher than many "harder" drugs. Emotions and willpower are only one element of getting over the physiological dependence. <3 I love that you're using your position to try to make a difference for others -- I hope your encouragement reaches the people who need it. And even though we don't know each other, please know that I'm proud of you for investing in yourself and signing up for counseling. It's courageous! You deserve to find peace and make the most of each day. And as the saying goes, "you can't pour from an empty cup." Taking care of yourself won't just make you better, it'll help you love the people around you, too. We support you 100%, and I hope you'll continue to share your progress with us so we can cheer you on. Take care! -Melissa, copd team
CommunityMember8233d1 Member
What exercises can I do to help my breathing? Can’t walk across room without breathing hard. Help please!
1. CommunityMember7d3f64 Member
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember8233d1" user-id="8796774"/> Slow down. We too often try going that short distance quickly, like we did before. May not stop being breathless, but not as much and recovery will be quicker.
John Bottrell, RRT Moderator & Contributor
Hi. <inline-mention username="CommunityMember8233d1" user-id="8796774"/> Welcome to our community. Sorry that you are having to deal with COPD, and that you get short of breath while walking. We do have lots of articles on this topic, such as this article here (<a href='https://copd.net/living-with-copd/pulmonary-rehab/exercising-with-copd' target='_blank'>https://copd.net/living-with-copd/pulmonary-rehab/exercising-with-copd</a>). Although, I am wondering if this is a topic you have brought up with your doctor? I am also curious if you have tried pulmonary rehabilitation -- as I know they do a great job of helping people with COPD learn exercises that are best for them. Is there anything further you can provide? John. community moderator.
maisieb1 Member
I have stage 4 COPD. I try so hard to have a least a basically normal life. I go out as much as I can to keep myself sane. I was using Advair for some time and wondered why I felt so bloody awful. Come to find out, it was not working at all. I am now on Breztri, I am amazed at the difference. Someone mentioned they take Trelegy., this med has 3 ingredients as does Breztri. Advair only has 2. So if you are having issues with your COPD, talk to you Doctor. Best wishes everyone.
1. Ian Wick Member
 <inline-mention username="maisieb1" user-id="2445436"/> I also am on Breztri replacing trelogy which was used one puff once a day Breztri is 2 puff twice a day big improvement for me yet still have a very sedate lifestyle due to not being able to do more. No complaints it's life at 73 still see sunrise every morn an set a night so am happy with that.
jcupdike Member
Pulmonary rehab needs to get a lot more respect, not just for COPD patients but a lot of people over 65 who still think their body is up to speed with their brain. I think learning to breathe and exercise properly would reduce heart problems, as well as keep people on both of their hips and knees, as well as take a stab at reducing obesity. But the program isn't aimed at all that. Until it is, it's still a great project.