Roller Coaster

1 min read

In the past 2-1/2 years, I have gone from walking through a fairly normal (for me anyway) life, to jumping on this crazy coaster of chronic illness.

Refusing to see a doctor

I am 61, diagnosed with COPD & heart issues fairly recently. My diagnosis was delayed by my staunch refusal to see a doctor, living by the motto that "what I don't know won't hurt me". I knew that I had breathing issues for years. I called it asthma & used over-the-counter inhalers as needed, which gradually became daily & then not able to function without it. Finally, an allergy triggered a severe (near-fatal) attack that landed me in the hospital & then the fun began!

Seeing a lung and heart doctor

Now I see a pulmonologist & a cardiologist regularly. I have had tests & procedures, tried different meds, felt bad, then better, then pretty good, then not so good...hence the roller coaster effect. Right now I am in a holding pattern, feeling OK & able to get out for a morning walk most days, which my dog appreciates. Still, I wish that I felt better, had more energy, felt more positive. On a bad day, I feel like that may never happen & just feeling not horrible is the best I can hope for. It doesn't help that my most recent tests read almost exactly the same as a year ago--I'd been doing all the right things & went in feeling pretty optimistic.

The realities of living with COPD

My doctor had to explain that COPD doesn't really "get better", & remaining stable is the best I can hope for. The roller coaster took a pretty big dive with that! To deal with the ups & downs of this experience, I find that having contact with others who understand is helpful. So I am happy to have found this forum & will look forward to interacting with others on this crazy ride!

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Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
Hi @Tlee - thanks for sharing your story here with the community. I have seen and appreciate your other posts throughout our community website, we appreciate all you have to say here. Your doctor makes a good point - sadly, this condition does not really get better. But, one can actually live a lifestyle that helps to slow down the progression of the disease for some folks. I thought this article, on that very topic, might be helpful for you to read: https://copd.net/living/progress-can-be-slowed. Please know you are always welcome here in our online community. I think you'll find that one is rarely, if ever, alone here! If there is anything we can do to assist you, please let me or any other moderator / team member know. Wishing you well, Leon (site moderator <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>)
Jackie English Moderator & Contributor
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so sorry to hear that you have COPD but glad you can share your story with us all. We all learn from each other. Keep in touch! Best, Jackie (Moderator)
duchess15 Member
I felt the same way about having the tests, the doctor tells you nothing has changed. What really made me change my attitude was when I took the test on year, thought I did very badly and the doctor said no, there was no change. I was so excited that I wasn't worse that now I look forward to the "no change", that means I'm keeping the monster away for now. 
1. Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
 @Tlee Hi Tlee, and thanks once again, for posting a comment with your viewpoint. It is a good one, and it is a point of view I support completely! The successful administration of the pulmonary function diagnostic test (PFT), is very much dependent on the individual (often times a respiratory therapist), style, approach and technique. Clearly, you have shared an excellent example of both the right way and the wrong way! We value both your input and your feedback here with the community. Warm regards, Leon (site moderator COPD.net)
kloker Member
Tlee - I feel ya. I started into this episode of my life in well-constructed denial, refusing to see a Doctor until I wound up in the hospital back in April (I'm 70 now). How I wish I had a do-over now! But it is what it is. My test results (just got first test a month ago) say "severely obstructed." So now my lungs are like my brain was, and now that my brain is active towards my COPD, I am hip deep in alligators. However, I have learned one heartening thing, and that is that I can continue to improve the way I feel and my health by continually researching and changing my diet and other facets I still have choices about. I am finding that the right exercises and a better diet can make a big difference in the quality of my daily life. Well worth looking at so far and has produced some improvements for me.