COPD is constantly on my mind, too!

I am very lucky that my COPD isn’t as bad as most others on this forum but, despite that, I am constantly thinking about my breathing every minute of the day just about!

I feel quite guilty about it but I can't seem to stop myself!!

Reflecting on past "episodes"

For the last month I seem to have got worse (only slightly) as I am constantly out of breath but what I really worry about is when it might become so bad that I will eventually not be able to breathe, just like what happened to me in the dim and distant past on three occasions when I was 32 (I am now 73).

On the final occasion, I had no idea that that 'episode' was probably a warning sign of things to come (I was about 7,000ft. up a mountain in the Dolomites at the time!) I just couldn't understand why I could breathe IN but not OUT and I REALLY REALLY thought I was going to die then.

Very scary at the time!!

Finally getting a diagnosis

Inexplicably I had no more episodes like that until I was 70. When I began to find I was getting slightly out of breath when out walking. After about 6 months or so of trying to get my doctor to believe me that there was something wrong with my lungs, to my surprise, I was finally diagnosed with COPD and asthma, even though I had never smoked in my life!

Anyway, as I have not been allowed in the surgery for tests for over a year just about, due to Covid, I do not know just how much my lungs may have deteriorated… and it is bugging me not knowing!!

Keeping it to myself

As I said, these dodgy lungs of mine are constantly on my mind but I don't like to mention my problem to my husband as he would just tell me to sit down and rest which would not be good for me as I know I must keep on walking as much as I can. Sigh!

Hmmm… unless someone has the illness, he/she just can't imagine what it must be like so, for my husband who, I think might be suffering from Asperger's syndrome, it is a struggle for him to imagine what I am going through at times. I just accept that as a fact of life, that he doesn’t know how to empathise. Perhaps when I get really bad I might be more inclined to say something but for the time being, I just don't see the point.

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