What Do You See When You Look in the Mirror?

It’s not the young, healthy, strong, freckled-faced girl I used to see years ago. At times, I see a few wrinkles, age spots, a few frown lines, a few straggling gray hairs, and plumper cheeks.

Other times, I can’t help but look in the mirror, and it takes me back and think of a time when I used to be able to do more but didn’t, and I wish I was still able to do all of those things that I could have back then. I went back to a moment when I worked all of the time and didn’t spend the quality of time with my children that I wish I would have and when I could do those things that I can no longer do nowadays.

Reflecting on missed moments

I wish I would have played catch more, played more basketball, or just done the things with my family that I would love to do now with my grandkids. I wish I would have played ball games, played in the park, gone for a hike or have gone on an amusement park ride.

I wish I didn’t have to worry about whether there are hills to climb where we go, long treks to the lake, or walking far from the parking lot to the building. I’d love to play in the snow and not worry about the cold air.

I wish I had played in the heat and not worried about it taking my breath away or getting down on my hands and knees and playing with cars and dolls with my grandkids. There are so many things that I should have taken the time to do when I could do them.

At other times, I see that teenage girl who enjoys getting ready to go to the movies or the skating rink by putting on makeup and curling my hair to meet my friends and boyfriend. Other times, I see the young, scared, new mother, wondering what the future looks like.

Determination to keep going

I wish I would have planned better. I wish I wouldn’t have started smoking. I wish I would have known about my Alpha-1 sooner. I wish I hadn’t worked jobs that were harmful to my lungs. So many things I wish I could change.

Other times, I look in the mirror and go back to the time when I was just recently diagnosed and can’t get Alpha-1 out of my mind. I ask myself many questions, such as: Should I be worried? Do I think I will only last a couple of more years like one of my doctors told me?

Then, I shake myself back to reality and tell myself that I will. I am going to make it to see my kids graduate, see them get married and have kids of their own, and watch my grandkids grow into adults themselves. I’ve got this, and I am going to do all I can to make it happen.

Finding confidence in my journey

Things that I can be confident about now when I look into the mirror and reflect on what has happened so far in my life are that I did the best that I could with what I had, I never gave up, and I fought for myself and others for the awareness of Alpha-1.

Today, I love what I see as I look in that mirror.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Please share with us in the comments below.