COPD and Its Devastating Effects on People's Lives

By Liana Collet

2 min read

This article explores the theme of maintaining emotional health in the context of COPD. My COPD journey has been a long one, and I was under the distinct impression that my life was good. I was so sure about my relationships and completely unaware that all was not well. I'm sure it happens all the time and it can be extremely unexpected and hurtful. But I've been soul-searching and hoping to come up with some new ways to deal with my situation. I came up with a few ideas.

Emotional investment

I'd like to be more emotionally invested in my relationships. For example, I can better communicate that I don't expect everyone to walk on eggshells around me just because I'm having a bad breathing day. I can show my family that I'm a capable part of the community by being more independent. I'd like to show more affection even if I'm having a rough time and not taking out my frustrations on everyone. I think I've been doing this a lot lately, without even realizing it.

Effects of physical limitations

Not being physically active with Nathan has become quite challenging lately, as we are still both fairly young and actually in our prime. It's been much harder for Nathan to come to terms with than me, purely because I'm so focused on my health I've forgotten that he needs me just as much as I need him.

I think this has all been highlighted by the rest of the family and their relationships and how they behave around us. He needs more affection and I need to work out how to be there for him. I didn't realize how selfish I've been and I need to fix things or else I may lose my soulmate. This includes getting out of the house and being more involved with social activities.

Learning about myself

I've discovered that I can survive anything as long as I have the support of my family. When the world seems to close in on me, I am only as strong as the belief I have in myself. I am a positive person and will fight to hold onto the people that mean everything to me.

My reality

I know I'm supposed to write about things that can help other COPD sufferers navigate their illness in a positive way, but sometimes it can get too much. I refuse to pretend that my life is always happy and that I don't feel lost at times. No one wants to hear all the negatives about having this debilitating disease, but my life is very real and so are all the challenges I face daily.

My future

After this really rough time, I know what I have to do to help myself and my family. It won't be easy, because I've lived in this comfort zone for so long. I have to relearn how to be more intimate and available. What I will take away from this whole experience is my will to keep my family together. That means everything to me.

Editor's Note: We are heartbroken to share that Liana passed away in November of 2021. She is deeply missed but her encouragement and positivity live on through her articles. Thank you for everything, Liana.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The COPD.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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aapostal Member
To me you do write about ways for me to navigate my COPD in a positive way. By admitting your negative side. If I see and hear you doing this I know that I am not the only one with such things. I can then admit that I have them also, and turn them into a positive by letting them lose their power on me. Great article. Thank you.
1. Liana Collet Moderator
 <inline-mention username="aapostal" user-id="2401402"/> thanks so much for your positive message. Im glad I got to share some of the challenges I think most of us face. Warmest regards Liana (author and moderator )
Liana Collet Moderator
<inline-mention username="aapostal" user-id="2401402"/> . I'm glad my realistic approach to my disease makes you feel less alone. Although we all suffer with many awful symptoms, we are strong people. We have to be as positive as we can be so we survive each day. I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you so much for your lovely message. Kindest regards Liana ( author and moderator <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>)
Jackie English Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Liana Collet" user-id="2446441"/> great article! Sometimes it's hard, to be honest with ourselves about these things. - Jackie (Moderator)
Carol Kirker Moderator
Hi Liana! I feel this is a very important article. We focus so much on our disease, we forget those around us. I became aware of it when one day my husband said all conversations eventually turn to COPD. It hurt at the time, but I knew he was right. Since then I am very aware of what I talk about and how much I ask him to do for me. It becomes convenient to have him get me a glass of water when I’m capable. It is better for me as well for the exercise. It is easy to stay inside the comfortable bubble we create for ourselves, but not easy on our loved ones. It is scary stepping outside of it. I am still working on it! Carol (moderator)
1. Liana Collet Moderator
 <inline-mention username="Carol Kirker" user-id="2412242"/> hi Carol. I know you " get" me. I think the move from South Africa had a lot to do with it too. It wasn't an easy time and emotionally very draining. Fortunately things are getting better and more settled so it helps. I fully understand what you've been through, I was doing the same thing. I've since been working on my conversations skills. Sending you lots of love. Liana ( author and moderator )
1949kathleen Member
Thank you so much for this very honest and helpful article! I am with you - family and friends are so important. I want to do all I can to maintain those very important relationships, to love openly and freely, while taking care of myself. I too can get way to centered on myself, especially if I am having a challenging day... or week... or..... 😀
1. Liana Collet Moderator
 <inline-mention username="1949kathleen" user-id="2441100"/> my thoughts are with you and your own journey. Warmest regards Liana( author and moderator )
Cruzer123 Member
Liana, great article, you are 100% correct, this disease can be overwhelming and impacts every aspect of our lives. It can be difficult to see past this and we become distant and removed from relationships with those who love us. I too have encountered this as I obsess about my condition, breathing and well-being. 
1. Liana Collet Moderator
 <inline-mention username="Cruzer123" user-id="4239959"/> we are all faced with thus dilemma at various times with this disease. Unfortunately it's a reality and having so many challenging things we have to deal with can be very draining, but if we just work at little harder at reconnecting with ourselves and the people around us, we can do anything. Warmest regards Liana ( author and moderator )
CommunityMember2465 Member
In the last couple of years some things became harder and I've had to come up with different ways to get the job done. Lucky for me I have a very good friend close by who sometimes knows I need help even before I do. I also live in an apartment dwelling with people always around to help out or just sit and talk. The one thing I don't do anymore is think I can do something without help, so I've had to swallow my pride and ask for help. That has not always been easy for me. I also am very in tune with my health problems and know when I should just stay in or taking the proper precautions if I do go out. I've just given myself permission to take it easy when I need to or just put off something I should be doing until I feel more up to it. 
1. Jill.Brodie Community Admin
 Hi @CommunityMember2465, thanks for joining the conversation. I am so glad to hear you have such a great friend. It is not always easy to ask for help, I am so glad to hear that you do. Jill, <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>, team member 
2. Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember2465" user-id="4752061"/> Hi CM2465, and thank you for joining in this conversation. From my perspective, you have an excellent outlook - it is practical and completely do-able, too! As you said, managing this disease has its challenges but it sounds like you have adjusted to do what you can, and not pressure yourself to get it all done. That is equally important - give yourself that permission whenever you need it! It's always good when there is assistance around too, and you appear to have that covered as well. It seems many of us feel similarly about asking for help. That is a difficult hurdle, too, but you've already 'jumped over' that one. Keep up the good work! If there is anything we can do to assist you, please let me or any other moderator / team member know. You are always welcome here in our online community. Have a good weekend! Leon (site moderator <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>)
stregarosa Member
People just don't understand what my limitations are. They still think that I can just get up and go. Clean house and do laundry. Be active all the time. I hate when people get on my case because I don't like to go out and do things like I used to. I wish I could do things like I did before. They don't realize frustrating it is for me to be stuck in the house all the time. I don't like to drive anymore but I'm alone and I have to. Wish they could walk in y shoes for just one day. Sorry for the pity party but I just had to get it off my chest.
1. Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
 <inline-mention username="stregarosa" user-id="4768993"/> Hi stregarosa, and thanks for your comment. You have certainly come to the right place - we hear you, loud and clear! In this community, all of our members understand just what you are going through and exactly how you feel. If there is anything we can do to assist you, please let me or any other moderator / team member know. You are always welcome here! All the best, Leon (site moderator <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>)