The Big Bad Wolf Had the Big C

With this particular life, you will learn that your breath is the most important thing in the world. Every meaningful event or minuscule happening will be over-shadowed by breath monitoring. It is ridiculously important, so you really aren’t experiencing every sensation. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten where I am because I was trying to take a full breath.

The satisfaction of taking a deep breath is AMAZING, it feels like infinite satisfaction. I wish people had a better understanding of what it’s like to not be in the fast lane or middle lane. The slow lane, where you maybe just want to cruise… my slow lane doesn’t allow cruising, it only allows hard breathing.

There aren’t many places I’d like to be, because some of those places I wouldn’t be able to breathe. See – I don’t allow myself to imagine because I don’t want to want after a fantasy that isn’t inhabitable. Believe me, I know there are grammatical errors on this, but I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about how hard I’ll be breathing after I shut off my laptop and set it on my nightstand.

Truth is, I don’t remember a life where I could run, talk fast or enjoy the winter. I’ll be 25 in December, I’ve been best friends with this ‘thing’ since 11. My gosh, how beautifully cruel life is, how deadly the breeze can be.

So I raise my cannula at you, Life.

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