MY COPD JOURNEY

I was fourteen when I came to terms with my own mortality. Sitting at the top of Mill Hill, on the South Downs, looking over the town of Shoreham-by-Sea, which was my childhood home, my hours of thought and contemplation drew me to one conclusion: the only certainty in life is death, everything else is up for grabs. It was an experience that was to influence the rest of my life. I have never feared death. I have never been able to engage in the emotional spasms that so many others seem to go through when faced with the death of a loved-one. Nor have I suffered the paralysing fear I have seen others go through when faced with their own mortality. Death is a part of life.

Experiencing breathlessness for the first time

My first encounter with COPD came when I was referred to a chest consultant at the local hospital some years ago. I was experiencing problems with breathlessness. I was advised that the consultant suspected that I might have lung cancer. The product of a mis-spent youth. I had my first cigarette when I was ten. I graduated to chain smoking Castella cigars. I was notorious for my pipe. Lung cancer is a very difficult cancer to diagnose. It has a very low cure rate. I had a family to consider. This was at the front of my mind when I asked the consultant “Don’t pull any punches, Doc, do you think these tests will prove to be positive?” The response was “Yes.” I knew if the tests proved positive then I was a dead man walking. The tests eventually proved to be negative. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued my three day per week routine at the gym.

More severe health issues soon followed

As one crisis was overcome a series of others were about to hit. Eventually I came face to face with a tsunami of health related issues. I developed septicaemia in my left leg. It took seven courses of antibiotics to sort that out. I had three heart attacks. It was confirmed that there was nothing wrong with my heart. My arteries were clear. The doctors could not identify a cause – (“perhaps it was a virus”). I had so many chest infections requiring treatment with steroids that I developed type 2 diabetes. My blood pressure started going through the roof. I developed psoriasis.

I knew I was going to have to fight

I continued to have breathing problems. My health was collapsing. Eventually I was at the stage where I could barely walk ten feet. My lung capacity collapsed. The diagnosis of COPD was finally made. As I sat in front of the Consultant, my wife by my side, I asked “how long have I got.” The answer was blunt – “if you do nothing you might last a year. At the most you have five years.” As we walked away from the hospital my wife asked “what are you going to do?” My response was characteristically blunt “FIGHT. FIGHT EVERY F@#+&%$ INCH OF THE WAY.”

I did all my research to educate myself

Every General knows the wisdom of ‘know thine enemy.’ Preparing to do battle with the dis-ease that was threatening to kill me required dedicated research. Everything was in the frame. Off the wall theories and academic papers were diligently read. I was to learn about the microbiome and the cutting-edge research linking deficiencies within it to a range of illnesses. I read about stem cell therapy and experienced the sales pitches of salesmen punting for business for rogue clinics abroad. I had to sift through a mountain of dodgy information, both from the mainstream and from the fringes of the medical world, before I hit upon a regime that worked for me.

Accepting my diagnoses and adapting to a new normal

If ‘know thine enemy’ is important wisdom to adopt when preparing for battle then ‘know thy self’ is equally, if not more, important. I was to come up against some brutal realities and was forced to face many painful home truths.’ I am a baby-boomer. I grew up in a society which had thrown out any notion of personal responsibility. A culture of dependency had been readily adopted by those who became known as the me-me generation. So when a terminal dis-ease was diagnosed the instinctive response was to cry out WHY ME?

Reflecting on my past

The answer, of course, was simple. If you smoke you leave yourself open to lung dis-ease. If you drink and consume a diet high in refined carbohydrates and sugar then you are likely to develop type two diabetes. If you adopt life-style choices which impose high levels of emotional stress then a heart attack should come as no surprise. Once I grew up and accepted the reality that my health problems were my own bloody fault I was able to progress. That progress also required that I stop being dependent upon doctors. I had to ensure that the relationship between my consultant and myself ceased to be paternalistic and moved towards being a partnership. My mindset had to change. I learned to turn problems into challenges. The struggle to defeat my innate negativity required self-imposed indoctrination courtesy of Norman Vincent-Peale.

A dramatic but beneficial lifestyle change

The lifestyle change was dramatic. Out went the refined carbohydrates (cakes, biscuits, bread, pasta, pizzas etc:) Out went the refined sugar. And down went the intake of fruit (Fruit is full of sugar.) Down went the consumption of alcohol, tea and coffee. Salads, and green vegetables (steamed) became the core of my diet. I am not a vegetarian (I would eat people if it was legal) but the meat I consume is locally produced and of high quality. I was to learn of the work of Linus Pauling who promoted the benefits of high doses of Vitamin C.

My research took me to the book Your Body's Many Cries for Water written by Fereydoon Batmanghelidj. I came to understand the value of sipping clove tea which is high in anti-oxidants’ and an effective anti viral / anti bacterial tea. I combed Gumtree and found a juice extractor for £20. It had been used once and cost new £160! This piece of kit enabled me to separate the juice from the fibre of the vegetables. I flooded my system with nutrients. The turnaround was dramatic. I went from being unable to walk much more than ten feet to running 100 yard sprints. It took weeks, not months. My lung capacity increased. I regained my vitality – something that had deserted me years ago. My consumption of steroids has dropped dramatically as has the intake of anti-biotics. Chest infections are becoming less severe and far less frequent.

This series of changes wasn't easy for me

Was it easy – NO! Is the war over – no it isn’t. I struggle every day to maintain the direction that has brought me such benefits. Why? Well the problem with life is ‘it’s just one damned thing after the other.’ I am not immune to that reality. The important thing is I refuse to quit.

What coping looks like current day

So how am I coping with the advent of the coronavirus? I know I am high risk so I obey the rules. I am spending my time in isolation focusing on my failings and seeking to ensure I stay on track. I live by the adage that EVERY DAY IS A GREAT DAY – IT’S BETTER THAN BEING DEAD! I recognise that I am high risk because I am reaping the fruits of the seeds sown, BY ME, decades ago. If I want an answer to the lament who is to blame for my being in this position? I just go to the mirror. The answer is there staring out at me.