Really fed up, angry and feeling hopeless, reduced to just my illness
Last updated: October 2023
Been feeling weakness and exhaustion to the point where I could barely take care of my home. Severe pain on my right side and sides of my back, nausea throwing up.
Contending with a lot
I have anxiety but I finally caved under a lot of pressure from family to seek help and got my blood tested. Found out my liver enzymes are high, my family doctor wanted to rule more stuff out so I had another blood test, 2 ultrasounds, a liver biopsy, and gall bladder dye tests now they want me to get a tube shoved down my throat and check for gastritis. I said no to that test.
The emotional toll
All this constant waiting in waiting rooms, the fear and the pain has me so mentally wrecked I can't think about anything else. I'm terrified. I feel like I lost who I am as a person. My family insists on helping me around my home and bringing me to appointments, and I feel more and more like a burden like I'm taking away from their personal lives, and I told them that. I cried myself to sleep many nights. I still have not gotten any answers. I'm not mad at the doctors, I'm mad at myself. I'm so tired of this I'm running on 0 hope and no cylinders. I want and begged to have my gall bladder removed but they want more tests to make sure. Why couldn't they see this by now? I'm scared I'm going to die a slow horrible death. I'm completely isolated because I'm unable to do anything anymore.
Where do you stand with your COPD?