Every Day's a New Day - not for the weak to read

No memory that's what happened. Oh I do remember some of it but just don't know why I lost my memory. I can remember going to the ER, but don't even remember people coming to see me - but they say I was acting fine, eating and laughing, joking with them. I don't remember my wife staying with me but it just was so bad this hospital I was in, they had to transfer me.

But what's weird is I was so bad they had to intubate me. They told my wife to get the family together because they were sure I was going to die. When I got to the bigger hospital I went right to ICU and remained there for about a week before they had to trachea me - that or lose your ability to ever eat again - so I woke up six weeks later in ICU from a coma I never knew I was in, the dreams are different and colorful real like living another life - somewhere floating up, sort of out of body, up to a white set of doors with real gold hinges and a pair of gold for handles, but they were closed and I would float back down.

I keep having this dream over and over, also I could see my wife at times but I couldn't move. They had my hands cabled to the bed and a feeding tube in my nose which was very uncomfortable and I keep trying to pull it out I was told. Anyways I do remember coming out of it and signaling a doctor to remove the vent and they had to because if you can talk or signal, they must by law do it.

I was told after they slowly take you off it you still can't talk you have to wait for a speech therapist to get you a talking valve. I was so weak I could even lift my own hand, it took another six weeks in rehab just to be able to walk to my car with a walker that is how bad it can get. If ever you get in this situation you will know what it's like to be totally helpless like a bowl of jello that's the way I felt.

That was a year ago. July first is when I came home. I'm so grateful to be alive, blessed to have another chance so everyday is a new day. I'm slowly still getting better, it's such a long road. Just want to get out and have some fun, I've been in the house almost a year besides yard parties and doctor visits. Looking for ways to do that. Well I hope no one ever gets that bad, respiratory failure is horrible so listen to your doctor and stay compliant.

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