Hospitalized follow up, anxiety, coping,venting

So got discharged on Saturday 14th after 4 day hospital stay. Opened mail on Sunday from my insurance. Dated jan 14th it was a notice of denial of medical coverage! I have chronic anxiety and dr had increased the dosage. Well, let's say I needed it. When my anxiety kicks in it also negatively effects my breathing. I try to do relaxation breathing techniques, music but my body will actually begin to tremble and shake and I feel like my insides are about to explode. I avoided taking them at times due to other meds I'm on and prefer not to take pills. But the severe SOB, chest pain, cold sweats and uncontrollable shaking changed my mind. I can "sense" it starting and within 10 min determine if I'm getting it under control and if not take my Clonazepam as it takes 30 min or so to kick in.

Another flare-up

On Monday I was going to pick up my dosepak Rx and looked forward to the short car ride to the drive thru. Had my 02 tank in car, walked out and opened car door. Well like 90 degree heat hit me which is a major trigger for me so I quickly put the key in to start the ac. Car wont start! And major flare from the heat trigger. Contacted son who jumped my car and then took it to get new battery. My pharmacy was closed by that time. So i took the prednisone my pulmonologist prescribed as a just in case cause i know you're not just supposed to stop. I finished the dose pack yesterday but noticed as each day passed and dosage went lower i began getting more pain and tightness in my chest and had to use my rescue inhaler more. Mornings have been getting worse. I just sit up and have to use my rescue inhaler, then breathing techniques to keep me calm. I take 7.5 mg of oxycodone upon waking as recommended by my Palliative care nurse which helps decrease all the chest and pack pain. Saw her a couple of days ago and she suggested going on morphine which I declined.

Todays struggle

This morning was bad, had severe SOB, rescue inhaler x3, had to use fan to cool face, and all my effort to remain calm, do breathing techniques and remind myself this will pass. But honestly was questioning if it would be me to pass. I called my pulmonologist and left voice message of todays problems and heres a sidebar... they returned call while I was typing all of this out. They want to see me tomorrow in their office. Just hoping i have the energy cause today has sucked all my energy. Sleeping in 2 hr shifts doesn't help either but when i wake up at 1 and then 3 or 4 added a plus, I eat a snack. Right now dont even know if any of this makes sense or if anyone can relate. Hoping a friend of mine, actually my only friend, may come visit and hang awhile later. Theres a loud scream in between some of the sentences above. Time to go practice some relaxation stuff now, but typing ALL this helps.