Fightin' The Blues
Most times, I'm a happy-go-lucky guy, quick with a joke and smile. Some days the grind gets to me. Mostly on the holidays that I used to love to party on! I've been 24/7 O2 for a couple years now; I always joke that I can't travel further than my hose - and traveling half that distance is frankly hard some days.
All I want to do today, Memorial Day, is fire up the grill, get the beers on ice, play horseshoes and shoot the bull with old friends but...I'm not allowed to grill because my oxygen might catch fire. Besides, it's honestly too much walking for me. And old friends are leery of death and dying. I understand that, I was too.
Thank God my wife and caregiver has managed to build a bit of a life - she's made friends and has places to go and it's almost like she has a normal life. That is the golden sun in my life - I know it's hard, I try to be as self sufficient as I can, but normal people need normal things.
A little blue
I can't take anti depressants; they make me suicidal(!). I generally don't need them. I drink beer, I still work a little from home on the old computer, I have friends but I fail to invite them over - most of them are active and it's funny for them, in an uncomfortable way, but I know they love me. So, today is a wee bit blue. Tomorrow, I'll be back to my old form - inappropriate jokes and all!
Focus on the positive
My point is, some days you get low but most days, you can make your own high. Focus on the positive! If you can't shake a low day, have a couple beers, watch a ballgame, and nap. Napping is a new thing for me. I thought life couldn't go on without me; if I was asleep, I might miss something. Life doesn't need me to be there after all! It goes on, everywhere, whether I'm asleep or awake.
I can always catch the reruns anyway.
Do you have a COPD caregiver?