Really beginning to see this is not going to end well...
Hi I am a 64 year old retired stonemason and ex smoker who lived my whole life being invincible to every thing bad. Great health able to work all the young uns I had hired under the table.
The beginning of my journey
COPD diagnosis twenty some years ago that has being slowly advancing through the stages year by year.
Been in a bad flair for the last month and been putting off doing anything about it for as long as I had a premonition I would not make it of the hospital alive.
My wife finally called 911 over a week ago and I ended up in critical care were i was next doors to a patient who was in a more advanced state then mine.The suffering this poor man went through was clear to all within earshot and that his demise was only a matter of time.
His struggle ended Wednesday night at 2:00 and he is now at peace finally.
Reflecting on my diagnosis
After all these years with this disease I never fully appreciated the harsh reality.
I am sorry for such a downer post but the event has ripped my life apart even more and now cannot stop thinking about this poor man and his final moments of anguish.
I took the time while in hospital to write my three children, 8 grand children and one great grand child a letter telling them all how much I have appreciated having them in my life as well as an extra hug for my dear wife of 43 years who is my rock and I found that helped somewhat.
I am hoping for many more sun rises and sets before I to am summoned to the big quarry in the sky but hopefully will face every day that is left with determination and the resolve that this will not defeat me.
My premonition was obviously wrong by the way.take care...bob
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