Counseling?

By rick1959

1 min read

Hi Everyone. I've been hitting some new and unexplored lows in my condition. I've always been a happy man, quick with a smile and a joke. I guess my trouble lately is I'm the only one that feels my smiles or hears my jokes.
Not the depressive type, but damn. My siblings, children, wife all have an arm and a half length distance anymore.

A downturn

Diagnosed end stage in 2014, I maintained a decent quality of life until Dr. Mengele got his hand on me and kept me confined to the hospital and experimented on heart drugs on me for a full month, threatening me with leaving AMA because I would have to pay the entire bill myself. Well, he lied. And I didn't sue; and it pretty much destroyed my health.
Anyway.

Considering counseling

I wanted to reach out to y'all because I feel I might want to get some counseling or something. I can't do antidepressants, they have an opposite effect on me. My insurance is great, so I know I can get it, but...I don't know what to expect, or how to prepare,; and never really had a lot of confidence in the field to begin with.
If there's any advice out there in the lunger world, I'd be mighty pleased to hear it. I'm sad, which is an unnatural state for me.

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Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
<inline-mention username="rick1959" user-id="6123275"/> Hi rick - I hear you! I am sorry to hear that your immediate family (wife, children, and siblings), have all started to keep you at arm's length when previously, as you've shared, this has not been the case. Do you have any thoughts as to what that is all about? I am also sorry to hear you've been mistreated in regards to your cardiac status. You've shared this happened in 2014 and your life has not been the same since then. Have you been diagnosed and treated for a cardiac condition? What is your present medical status? I am hopeful others here will chime in with their own personal experiences dealing with counseling. I myself can share that I have found it can be incredibly helpful. I have also found it can be rather lackluster. I found it really depended on the particular counselor / therapist and the rapport they could (or could not) develop with me. If you are leaning in that direction, you may want to interview a few first and make a decision as to who would be a good fit for you. What do you think? Leon (site moderator <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>)
Melissa.Arnold Community Admin
<inline-mention username="rick1959" user-id="6123275"/> Hey, Rick. I'm sad to hear that things have been so weird with your family lates, people withdraw when they feel awkward or unable to face seeing a loved one struggle. Have you talked to your wife about what you're seeing from her? Counseling can be a huge help for everyone, in my humble opinion, because all of us have room to grow and it's never too late to learn new things about yourself. I've been in counseling off and on in different seasons. Change doesn't happen overnight but by the time I feel ready to call it quits, I can look back and see improvements in my mindset and overall health. It's a great time to start counseling because everyone has become so accommodating to doing things online. My current therapist is 15 minutes up the road but we have never met in person. The majority of therapists will be willing to offer you a free, brief consultation to see if they are a good fit for you. But it can take a few sessions to decide if they are "the one" for you. If they're not, it's always OK to say so. It's not personal and they know that! They may even give you recommendations of others who you may gel with. Not every session is life changing. Sometimes you leave feeling a little worse, like someone stirred up all the junk in your heart. But that can often be a good sign. The key is to stay open-minded and be honest with them about how you feel. You have to be willing to improve, or at least try. Your insurance company website or customer service folks can offer you a list of people that take your insurance. My preferred place to look is <a href='https://PsychologyToday.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>PsychologyToday.com</a> because you can tweak the search based on the insurance they take or issues they specialize in. I hope some of this is helpful for you! This is one topic I am especially passionate about, so please reach out if you have any questions. I hope you can find some healthy perspective and support. Sending a hug to you! 😀 -Melissa, <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>copd.net</a> team
Bixd Member
 Hello, Rick: There are some pretty heavy duty emotional aspect to this disease and, yes, many of people get the bad side of US medicine. I am not a strong supporter of anti-depressants, but I would suggest physical rehab, ending with a membership at a gym. I have been dealing with this since 2015, and I always spent some time at the gym and then became a bonafide gym rat. When COVID closed down the gyms, my wife and I developed a home exercise routine that we follow to this day and it has served us very well. Good luck. 
1. rick1959 Member
 <inline-mention username="Bixd" user-id="4541955"/> Oh, bixd, you would split your sides at my exercise routine! I have a 4 lb dumbell I curl every day, and I try to stand up a couple times an hour.
2. Bixd Member
 <inline-mention username="rick1959" user-id="6123275"/> Actually, I wouldn't. Standing up is hard. I make it from room to room without a wheel chair and am thankful for little victories along an altogether slippery slope.
Laurie M Member
Sorry that you feel this way. Depression can be suppressed anger. Feelings about your Doctor and being held hostage in the hospital certainly would cause me anger if not rage! Feeling helpless about it would lead to depression. Depression can cause a person to retreat from social activities and your normal sunny self. Your Friends don’t know how to help causing them to distance themselves. This can further isolate you increasing your depression. Vicious circles. Having a councilor would allow you to vent and give you some tools to deal with these issues. I’m glad you reached out. You are not alone.
rick1959 Member
Wow, I really appreciate the replies and comments! Full story, I am oxygen dependent, 12 L currently. Hard to maintain at home, I've got 2 10L concentrators pumping away 24/7 (HELLO, ELECTRIC BILL!) and get out of breath very easily. Main reason I don't go to the gym is I can't! All my other organs are stubbornly healthy (aside from a little AFIB every now and then) so as my hospice nurse says, I'm afraid you're gonna linger. I don't blame my fam for withdrawing; the strapping man who had a band and worked on cars and helped put the addition on the log cabin and worked 3 jobs (including the music - so, it wasn't REALLY a job!) is a little shocking. We had a separation due to distance and travel funds, so it'd been years since we'd seen all of us together til I moved back to NJ from FL. The transformation at my Christmas party last year here at home in NC must have been - hell sure it was - shocking My wife, God Bless her, is so angry at me for not having changed my lifestyle years before I met her and with the burden of taking care of me, is about as far away as the moon emotionally and physically. Sometimes ya just need a hug, you know? Now, the MIRACLE is, hospice has a new pastor who I met a month ago. He and his wife have a band like mine, our song lists are nearly identical, and we hit it off. His 2nd visit the other day came at the perfect time. We talked, and he actively listened, and I felt so refreshed afterwards I can't hardly describe it. So he wants to come more often than once per month. And again, I see little miracles. Please accept my sincere apologies for turning replies to y'all into a whole post. I shall stop whining, the WAAAAHmbulance just got here!
1. rick1959 Member
 Hi Leon. My oddball sense of humor once again misled someone! The "WAAAHHmbulance" is just my way of saying I'm whining, and need to stop! Thank God it wasn't another trip in the rattle wagon. Last time, it was in an obsolete vehicle that rode like a garbage truck. The EMT's were as dismayed as I was!
2. Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
 <inline-mention username="rick1959" user-id="6123275"/> Hi again, Rick - I get it now!! That is a pretty good sense of humor - not so oddball either! After all, having a sense of humor can help manage this whacky disease!! I am sorry to hear that the condition of the ambulance is as you described - that is awful. But, then again, the box trucks they use in this city (New York), always strike me as rattle traps too! You would think (at least I would think), they could construct an ambulance that had the quality ride of a hearse. My two personal experiences with ambulance rides (2015 and 201😎, were also not pleasant. True, the ambulance got me to where I needed to be quickly, but the ride was abominable - I was tossed and turned all over the 'gurney' in the ambulance as they sped (lights and sirens), to the emergency room! I appreciated the acute transport but, try putting an IV in (or have one inserted) during that crazy ride! I am grateful for being helped but would love to see a new, better design! I always appreciate our conversations, rick! Have a great weekend! Leon (site moderator COPD.net)<img src="/content/images/2022/10/15/28f538f1551b13ce43f3aa66b3efc535_medium.jpg" alt="" class="uploaded-image"/>