Another visit from the ambulance

By Blackmirror

1 min read

I knew last Thursday I was going to be in trouble, with the bank holiday weekend coming up I knew. My doctor was going to be closed.

The issue

I managed to make it till Sunday and then the panic started, I just couldn’t breathe and you know what happens when you can’t breathe. Your brain tells you you’re not getting enough oxygen, and you start hyperventilating and I couldn’t get it under control.
They sent two female paramedics Who made the situation even worse by arguing with each other. They wanted to take me to the hospital but I said no, there is nothing they can do in the hospital that they can’t do at home for me.
They managed to get hold of an out-of-hours doctor Who gave me an emergency prescription of antibiotics and steroids again, as I don’t have any at home, because my doctor won’t let me.
So as well as trying to breathe properly. I’m not trying to cope with what antibiotics does to my stomach or should it be my bowels?

Trying to stay positive

I am trying to stay positive but on days like this I think my family would be better off if I wasn’t here. I can’t do anything that I want to do.
I really do hate self pity it’s my own fault that I’ve got this disease, but I’m just getting so frustrated that I can’t do what I want to do.
And it seems to be getting worse as the nights pull out.
Rant over … I have got some mullien drops I’m trying will let you know if it helps .. to be honest I could really do with a Bacardi and Coke with ice and a slice and a packet of peanuts?

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SamanthaSarube Community Admin
Hi <inline-mention username="Blackmirror" user-id="4497523"/>, I hear how scary and overwhelming this time has been for you and I appreciate you sharing it so openly with us. We aren't professional counselors but I would be happy to send you some resources if you wanted? In the meantime, I hope you know we are here to offer you whatever support we can. Contending with COPD and the guilt that can sometimes accompany it is hard. Try to remember that even though we all make choices and have to live with them, no one asks to get sick or deserves to get COPD. I hope you have a peaceful day. All the best, Sam S. (<a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>, team member).
CommunityMember122 Member
Have the Bacardi.
1. Bixd Member
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember122" user-id="4656162"/> Actually, I would recommend single malt with water .
Bixd Member
 We all have regrets, but, as you know, they are pretty worthless. We live life, make choices -- both good and bad. We are all born with an expiration date, but we don't know what it is. As for being a burden to our "loved ones," most of them have been a burden to us at some point. The real deal is to take the challenge in front of us, and just go on. Winston Churchill once said, "if you are going through hell, the best idea is to keep going." Life is a series of good times and bad times, and it goes around. Wait a day, and it will change. Or not. 
1. Leon Lebowitz, RRT Member
 <inline-mention username="Bixd" user-id="4541955"/> Hi Bixd, and thanks so much for chiming in here with your very own personal brand of a response. The Churchill quote, from my perspective, is particularly apropos! What better way to approach all this (for all of us!) - keep going, til we get to the other side of hell! Like Churchill (and you), prescribe - keep fighting! If one can do it, and has the mental fortitude - that is the way to manage all this! I agree with your outlook! Wishing you well, Leon (site moderator <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>COPD.net</a>)
2. Melissa.Arnold Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="Bixd" user-id="4541955"/> Love this perspective. I feel that way both as someone with a physical disability and as an only child -- the responsibility of caring for my parents will come to me someday. BUT ... we all need help at times. We all get sick. I don't believe there's any shame in asking for what we need. I'm sure most of us have come to the aid of someone in need in our healthy moments. My mother teases me that after wiping my behind as a baby and driving me around for 25 years, surely I can return the favor. 😁 -Melissa, <a href='https://copd.net' target='_blank'>copd.net</a> team
Onemoreday Member
At this point nobody would tell you no to that drink! It’s not easy to stay positive but I’m a lot like you sometimes it just is a lot easier to Waller around in self pity than to be positive . Then alittle while later I feel better it comes with the territory .