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So Tired

I am on my 13th year with COPD. It has gone from each year becoming a little more difficult to now it seems each month brings new problems. In March I was hospitalized two times, 10 days each from a COPD exacerbation.

After the hospitalizations

I came home on oxygen after the 2nd stay and now am on 5 liters. I have an undefined mass on my upper left node and the pulmonologist wants to perform a bronchoscopy but as I am easily winded from something as simple as walking a few steps it has been put off. The plan it seems is to put me on prednisone again which has its own problems. I was on it for three weeks after the 2nd hospital stay and the constipation I experienced for the first time in my life did not go away but has instead become chronic. I also got horrific heartburn from it as well as trouble sleeping.

I am on end stage COPD and do my best to stay positive. I can say I would not wish this disease on my worst enemy and hope one day in the future we as a society will show the same compassion for those of us with a terminal illness as we do for animals who’s suffering we humanely end.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The COPD.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • abilenehilo author
    1 month ago

    I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts. It’s nice to be able to share with others who understand. We have a tough cross to bear and I wish you all the best on your journeys.

  • Leon Lebowitz, BA, RRT moderator
    1 month ago

    Hi again, abilenehilo – it’s our pleasure! It really is what this community is all about! Please know you are always welcome here!
    If you haven’t as yet, you may want to check out our COPD Facebook page(s). You will find many of our community members interacting with one another there throughout the day. You can find the link at the bottom of this page.
    Hope to see you there!
    Leon (site moderator)

  • khysha
    1 month ago

    I understand

  • Leon Lebowitz, BA, RRT moderator
    1 month ago

    Hi khysha, and thanks for chiming in here. Thanks for letting us know you understand about COPD and being tired. I’m sure that abilenehilo will appreciate your comment. Leon (site moderator)

  • rascal1
    1 month ago

    I, too, have had COPD for about 15 years along with congestive heart failure. During this time I have some good years and some bad – this is being a bad year. About 2 weeks ago I have a terrible exacerbation and had to be indebated. This wasn’t fun but I am slowly getting better. I had been trying for a long time to be OK’d for Oxygen and this time I was give a prescription. I find this as a good thing. Yes, I am very tired of fight this disease that I brought on myself by smoking but I have been brought back to life several times so I know God has a purpose for me and I won’t give up until that is fulfilled. Please don’t ever think about giving up – even in the darkest time we can always find a reason for going on. Will be praying for you and hope you do the same for me.

  • Leon Lebowitz, BA, RRT moderator
    1 month ago

    Hi rascal1 and thanks for joining in the conversation here. We appreciate your candor and your viewpoint. Staying positive (as you seem to be), goes a long way towards managing this condition. We’re glad to have you as a member of our community. Wishing you well, Leon (site moderator)

  • sardonicus
    2 months ago

    abilenehilo: What made you start smoking 8 years after kicking it. I am still smoking but want, no that’s wrong have to quit. Vaping seems to be the only way I can go, but worries me is the horrible taste. Although the cartridges I bought say tobacco supreme or something the taste nothing like cigs, they are sickeningly sweet. I wish you the very best and I really feel for you…..sardonicus

  • Janet Plank moderator
    2 months ago

    Hi abilenehilo, thank you for sharing.

    I’m sorry that you are struggling so. Prednisone is one of those nasty meds that we often ask “which is the lesser of 2 evils”. The increased illness or the side effects.

    Do talk with your doctor about your constipation and reflux, he/she can likely give you something to help you. Hopefully if needed, you will be able to get the bronchoscopy.

    My heart goes out to you with all you are going through. Know that we are here for you. Please keep us updated.

    Best wishes,
    Janet (site moderator)

  • hobo
    2 months ago

    Hello Abilenehilo, I was diagnosed with emphysema in the mid1995, and didn’t even really thought about it. except my dad died from it. But went on living to the full. Then 2010 lung cancer came along with the rest of
    COPD ,we all have it ruff sometimes.I know how you feel. But someone needs you story told. Because he put you here for some reason.Wake up and look at the flowers talk to friends and family grandkids. Your ❤️ needs to live.I u

  • sardonicus
    2 months ago

    HI: I feel for you I really do cause I am looking at my future. I was diagnosed in late November, so I am way behind you. Were you a smoker? If so when did you quit? Also I could not agree with you more about animals. Are they more important than people? Don’t get me wrong I love both dogs and cats( some of them anyway), but you are right. when they are suffering we put them down. But people are expected to suffer till the bitter end. When things get bad for me I am going to ask for assisted suicide. If they turn me down I wont hesitate to do it myself. Please believe me I am not suggesting that you do anything drastic. I am only talking about myself…….sardonicus

  • abilenehilo author
    2 months ago

    Hi, thank you for the response.
    Yes I was a smoker and quit right after being diagnosed. That lasted for 8 years then I started again, smoked for around 3 years and quit for good.
    I do not believe animals are more or less important than people. As they are living things I feel they deserve as people do certain considerations.
    I live in a State that supports death with dignity and when a doctor determines I have 6 months or less to live I can legally request medication to end my life. Sadly many States do not have such laws
    As you are in the early stages I suggest you educate yourself as much as possible about how to maintain your health.Ask your doctor(s) questions. If you smoke tobacco, quit. Exercise regularly, eat healthy foods and most importantly is to maintain a proactive attitude. Staying focused and positive can be tough.
    I wish you the best on your journey.

  • sardonicus
    2 months ago

    ABILENEHILO: Thank you for your reply. Yes I am still smoking, but starting July 10 I am going to start vaping. I have tried gum,patches, I rip them off and light a smoke. The reason for my date is because it will be a month before I see my lung doctor. Please take care of yourself and thanks again….sardonicus

  • Lyn Harper, RRT moderator
    2 months ago

    Hi abilenehilo – We really appreciate you sharing your story with us. It’s very sad to hear what your experience has been. I’m sorry you’ve got so much on your plate. I hope that finding this community of so many people that can relate to you has helped. I hope you’ve also discovered our Facebook page where you can also interact with others that have COPD. Please feel free to join any of the discussions – I’m sure you would have plenty to add.
    Take care.
    Lyn (site moderator)

  • Leon Lebowitz, BA, RRT moderator
    2 months ago

    Hi abilenehilo and thanks for your post and sharing your story with the community. I’m sorry you are going through this.It if helps, you are not alone as we have an entire membership here that understands all of this. One of the best approaches you can have is to stay positive, as you said. It goes a long way towards helping to manage this disease. If there is anything we can do to help, please let us know. You are always welcome here! Leon (site moderator)

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