It's Never an Easy Ride with COPD
I really hope everyone has had a good few breathe-easy days recently. Finding out you have COPD can be pretty frightening but what's often worse than the shock of diagnosis is what can follow. The highs and lows, the laughing, and then the crying. All in one day I find it can be like that.
I've worked too hard
In the past 4-5 weeks, I've struggled a lot. The weather has been so wet so I have not been outside. The four walls are starting to close in. At times I feel like I want to chuck it all in (deep down I know I won't). I've worked too damn hard to get where I am.
I've not been able to exercise as my lower back is so painful I'm walking bent over. Sitting up is also very painful - I can't sit for more than a couple of minutes. I feel alone and get scared as I have no close friends who live near me. My spark is now dim.
I will get back to my normal healthy exercises and be the joyful person I usually am. Excess use of steroids can play havoc with the bones and I have osteoporosis. I have an x-ray booked for next week, let's see what's going on. Wishing you all a safe, breathe-easy week.
This picked up my mood
Writing how I felt it actually picked up my mood. Yes, the pain is there but sharing how you truly feel does lift the weight off your shoulders a lot. It's not all gloom and doom, I can promise you that. Sometimes sharing the hard days can also help those who feel they're not ready to talk and share. The one thing in common is we have COPD and we're all on our own personal journey.
Our journeys take different paths. Sometimes they are rocky and we stumble. But we always get back up fighting where we left off. Our lives can change from day to day, so my plans are very limited and the few very close friends understand my problems. Do I wish things were different? Yes, but then if it were different I wouldn't have learned what I'm learning now and I wouldn't have joined online art and creative writing classes. These all lead to credits if I wish to continue with them.
New days and new beginnings
It is okay to be scared, worried, or concerned - these are natural feelings for any human being. It is up to you how you deal with it all. I will cry my heart out, have a rant, clean the home from top to bottom, and exercise. Exercise is the answer to COPD - pushing yourself to your limit. Writing down what you have achieved, you will be well pleased with yourself. Lift yourself up and work to a pace that suits you.
Life isn't a competition. We live our lives the best way for us, not for anyone else. Remember, you got this and you can do it. We can't say it's easy to pick ourselves up after a blip because it isn't always true. Often we're already struggling with what our lives have given us. That said, there is no point in dwelling on yesterday or the day before because today is a new day and we need to grasp it with both hands. New days and new beginnings - let's get excited and take the straight road ahead. We're worth it - you, me, and everyone else moving forward!
Do you live with any sleep disorders (eg. insomnia, RLS, sleep apnea) in addition to COPD?