My Dream Escape
In spite of having COPD with its daily limitations when I put my head down on my pillow at night, all inhibitions and limitations are gone. In my nightly dreams, I am a healthy senior that has a boundless energy to spend her days with her grandson.
The laughter is full
We are spent from running along the beach as the water laps at our feet and then we run some more. Neither of us needs a caregiver because we are all we need. We make sandcastles and eat ice cream until it runs down our arms and disappears in a puddle and blends in with the sand.
Then it is on to amusement park and we laugh till we cry riding on the merry-go-round, the teacups, and the pirate ship. We run from one side to the other until exhaustion sets in. All rides are experienced, and we are once again spent. The laughter is full, and the exhaustion is well-earned. My heart skips a beat at the thought of it.
A smile that is priceless
Summer days are full of planting food that we will reap into the fall. Tomatoes, pepper, cucumber, celery, and onions. It is a salad in the making that our hands have lovingly grown. We then proceed to plant flowers of bright yellows and reds, the scent of which lingers throughout the garden. He happily digs the tiny holes with his shovel and carefully puts the good soil deep in the hole before putting the flowers in the ground. Filling the hole with dirt and patting then down with his chubby fingers, he stands back to admire his work. A smile that is priceless echoes his pride in a job well done. We blow bubbles on windy days and sing around campfires at night until slumber finds us.
Beauty in the changing seasons
In the fall and spring, we go on long hikes and marvel at all that nature has to offer us. Every step is an adventure of newness. Nothing can be predicted about what these days will bring. Colors are vibrant and everything lives.
Winter brings colder weather, but it does not stop us. We slide down the gigantic hill and crash into the hay bale at the bottom. We continue dragging our toboggan up and down the hill all day until we are frozen solid, and then we retreat for much needed hot chocolate. Upon thawing out and getting into our dry warm clothes, we scamper to build the most majestic snowman. We worked for days making the perfect top hat for him and adorned him with a scarf and gloves that seem to match his outgoing personality. He has brilliant eyes made of coal; a wide smile made of stones and a carrot nose.
Granny loves him deeply
I know that these dreams will never be a reality, but I giggle during the day thinking about how much fun we had all night. Even though my grandson will never know what could have been, he knows, innately that his Granny loves him deeply.
Do you live with any sleep disorders (eg. insomnia, RLS, sleep apnea) in addition to COPD?