Yes, We Do Grieve Our Old Lives
A couple of years ago on a grieving site, a person wanted to grieve her old life. Some on the site said that this was for grieving because someone died. This lady said that she was grieving because she died, her old life died.
This triggered quite a thought process in me. I agree with that lady. Our old lives have died. We live a new life. We too go through the grieving process:
Denial:
This can’t be real. It can’t be happening to me. How could I get this? I didn’t smoke. I didn’t smoke very much. If I would have quit sooner. Wouldn’t I have known sooner? After time, you may realize that it probably is real and you probably have it or something like it. Whatever it is, COPD, asthma or just a cold.
Anger:
Why did this happen to me? It’s the cigarette companies fault; they keep pushing them on us and making them more addictive. I can’t help that I grew up around other people that smoked or worked in a place that had chemicals. That person smoked more than I did, why did I get COPD?
Bargaining:
God, if you take this away, I’ll pray more often or give more money to charity. Praying to whoever might be listening that you will do better if the COPD is gone. Going from doctor to doctor to find a diagnosis that says there is no COPD.
Depression:
How do I go on like this? No one understands. I don’t want to tell my family, I don’t want them to worry, who will I talk to? They probably wouldn’t understand anyway. It’s so hard to do things, no one will want to help. I’m so tired, I don’t want to get up. My anxiety has really gone up and I’m more prone to panic attacks.
Acceptance:
This is my new life, I have living to do. I am going to find a COPD group. I am going to talk to a therapist to help me through these adjustments in my life. I am going to find a way to help my family understand and maybe find a group for them. I am going to participate in what I can and what I can’t, I’ll ask for photos and find something pleasant for me to do, maybe watch a movie so I can rest and relax. I’ll do the best I can and on the bad days, I’ll give myself approval to do only what I can do. I’ll make sure that no matter what, I will get up and move around periodically; if I can’t get up, I’ll sit or lay in my bed and move my hands and feet, legs and arms. Today I’ll look out and see the sun and know that it’s a brand new day, one to be celebrated and I’ll smile.
I believe we grieve with everything that alters our lives. I can see some things that I struggle with and have trouble letting go of. Being human, let’s us go through so many things in our lives; it helps us to be who we are. Yes, we do grieve any life changing things, until we can let go and accept them we stay stuck. If we allow ourselves to grieve, we will get to the place of acceptance and we will be able to open a new chapter in our lives and go on, to whatever we find, in our journey of life.
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