My Husband, Best Friend, and My Full-Time Caregiver

I thought I would share how here in the UK I live with my husband who obviously is my best friend but also my full-time caregiver.

As good as gold

He is on-hand 24 hours a day. Yes, he does leave me for a few hours at a time but looks after me by doing the food shopping, picking up prescriptions (there are a good few), helping with the cleaning, and assisting me in the shower. He also is the one who takes me out in the wheelchair. I had a mobility scooter but recently had to send it back due to the uncertainty of things around where I live. It's too stressful for me to use it. I can see at times it's stressful for my hubby but he is as good as gold.

A few months back we had to have a conversation with my COPD team about how would I want to be treated if I got really sick. Not an easy subject, but I had already opted for DNR and wished not to be placed on a ventilator. So if it did happen, I would be treated at home. Sounds a bit morbid but facts are facts. Yes, my husband cried but it is ok now.

Exercise, cooking, and outdoor time

Living with COPD can be hard at times but luckily the good days still outdo the bad ones. My hubby exercises at home now due to my COPD being severe. He exercises in one room and I exercise in the other which is great as we can shout through the wall. Hubby will do a warm-up by going for walk and I do stretches and use my exercise pedals.
So we're still doing things together and still have things in common.

Hubby is a few years younger than me (13 years) which is great as he is pretty fit. Yesterday the weather was gorgeous so he took me out 3 times and were out for about 5 hours in total. I was fine as I was sitting down the whole time. It didn't cost us a penny as we had bottles of orange and water. So was a very cheap and enjoyable day out. I still very much like to do things on my own like showering so I make sure he is in and I leave the bathroom door open so I can shout if need be.

I also love cooking but our kitchen is very small so I cook in stages. I put meat and roasties in the oven first then do the veggies which I do buy frozen. They're still very fresh but also a lot cheaper. Of course, hubby is here if I'm using the oven so he can get it out for me as it's a bit too low down for me (breathing wise).

Knowing your limitations

It's knowing your limitations and asking for help when you do need it. Adapting things, making it easier for yourself. Hubby used to carry the washing out for me, but I've learned I can do it by throwing the washing over my shoulder. It's also easier that way as you don't need to keep bending.

Our system works so hopefully there might be some tips in this for you too.

Editor's Note: We are heartbroken to share that Debz passed away in October of 2021. She is deeply missed but her positivity and resilience live on through her articles. Thank you for everything, Debz.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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